Poop is NOT the word I want to use.

I am trying to keep up with this website AND prepare for a baby, and pull weeds (ya right), and store food, and make food and clean house and remember to brush my teeth and to keep my attitude in check…

Ya right.

I am behind on all accounts.  

I have been absent ’cause I haven’t known what to say.
A neighbor called the City about our chickens. 
 (During that heat blast a couple weeks ago they complained about the smell – under further investigation by MOI (IE: face to face confrontation) it turns out it was our compost bin and the fact that in haste I cleaned the coop and dumped it in there one day and NOT the coop or birds themselves that stunk.  

It was petty of them, they could have come to us and now we are outed.
I just couldn’t believe it, we always talk to and 
greet these neighbors – I still can’t believe it.

At the same time in this town the vote for whether one can or can not have chickens is Thursday. 
 Many say it looks very hopeful.  
Hopeful for them maybe.  Not for me.

You know, Aldermen/women are chicken experts didn’t you?

She wrote with much sarcasm.

Turns out, the coop has to be a stand alone structure able to withstand 90 pounds of snow and 65 mile an hour winds.  
You know, not everyone has the funds for a Martha Stewart type set up.  We were very proud that we constructed ours from stuff we found in our garage for almost nothing.  Sounds like another way for the City to make money with a permit – never mind they want $50 for a CHICKEN PERMIT!
Our coop is well hidden in our huge garage.  Warm and private.
And the run has to be 10 feet from any property lines, fully enlcosed (NO chicken wire!!!!) and NOT on the side of the house.
Our run is on the side of our house and is not enclosed.  We clip our chickens wings and they wander freely behind a 6 foot high fence visible ONLY to us out our kitchen door… funny, our birds have never dug up our neighbors freshly planted veggie seeds or jumped in our neighbors fire pit… in a live fire… they don’t bark at the kitchen window when our neighbor does their dishes…

All things that our neighbors dogs have done.

The City has been snooping around our house since they knocked on my door last week.
They’ll probably want to re-access my house value for taxes cause I turned my side of the garage into a “school room”, or maybe they will want to back fine me for the flagstone patio I put in without “permission.”  

Did I mention how aggravated I am?

The lady across the street trains German Shepards in her backyard
 – wonder what THAT smells like?  
AND she walks hers EVERY night without a leash.
Have I mentioned how many times a day people blow the stop sign in front of my house?
You can have pigeons, pot-bellied pigs AND parrots – in your damn house but I guess I am going to destroy the city with my girls in my garage and pecking along the side of my house.

Look, I am an ornry girl.
I know it.
I knew from the get-go that I could get busted. 
 But I never thought my neighbors with whom we have/had an amiable relationship with would CALL THE CITY without coming to me first.  
And over a problem that was short lived and temporary!

Thankfully the City employee that came to my door is someone I like, she was great when we put our fence up last year and she was really nice this time too.  ‘Called the rule completely stupid… but she asked me if I could house them somewhere else and I said NO!  Are you kidding?  These are our pets, we love them, THEY FEED US and I am not going to send them packing to who-knows-who while the village comes to a vote!!!

I don’t like rules, at least stupid ones.  They grate against me and call me a child, but I can’t let it go.

No texting while driving.
Don’t speed.
You can’t build a giant play structure for your kids on the parkway grass.
You can’t sit in the park and pound beers, 
I get it.


But quiet, non-dangerous, small, backyard animals and how I choose to house them is my own damn business.  Never mind that I save $20 a week on groceries because of them. 

 They never bark when a baby is taking a nap either!

  I bet the City doesn’t inspect DOG HOUSES!

And no one has to WATCH my chickens poop – do you know how it makes me wretch to see a big dog being walked by my house only to have it squat in my yard and then see someone pick it up with a plastic bag, swinging that lump all the way home.


Look, I should be able to tell my neighbors (which I did), keep them happy and leave it at that.  This is just another example of government micro-managing something they know nothing about.  I am so upset… did I mention they only are handing out ten licences this year and you can only have 4 hens???  

…As many dogs as you want, let your grass grow high enough to feed cattle, start to paint your house eight years ago and never finish it, put a toilet in your backyard as decor, let the weeds along your house grow a mile high, let your filthy cat roam the neighborhood crapping in every sandbox he can find, be stoned out of your minds and walk by my house what seems like every day… all things that go on in our charming neighborhood…

But let’s worry about the pesky chickens and how they might become out of control.

My garden is DONE, the layout is such that there is no room for me to plop a new, expensive chicken coop and run right in the middle of it.  We don’t even have grass for crying out loud.

I could spit.  
I’ll readily admit I am not handling it very well.

tolerance for this kind of stuff.

That’s why I have been away.
I’ll come back after I cool off – 
Wish me well for the City Meeting on Thursday.