I received this email and have tweaked it for my own use by substituting the word “Democratic” with “Liberal” and changing the word “Republican” for “Sensible” since I am NOT Liberal, Democratic or Republican but strive to think and be “Sensible.” There’s my disclaimer, now hold on to your every-expanding-thanks-to Christmas-cookies-seats, this is really funny!


For My Liberal Friends:


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily
greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western
Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical
ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted
to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement
of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wisher.)

For My Sensible Friends:

Here’s wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!