Road Rage – A Rant.

Sep 19, 2010 | Uncategorized | 20 comments

Yes, I’ve got it.

When I was 16 we moved from Michigan to Chicagoland.  Though I had known “how” to drive since I was 12 years old my dad would not let me take “Driver’s Ed” in Michigan… in his wisdom he thought I had better learn to drive with all the other maniacs.
Thank you Dad!
And though he could be quite the jerk in the passenger seat I learned from him basic curtsies and rules of the road, things that is seems, most people ignore… things like don’t slow down before you move into the turn lane, slow down after you move over.  Today it drives me NUTS when people practically come to a stop just to move over a lane!!!
Here’s a few more…
Don’t brake just cause you’re going down a hill, just take your foot off the gas!
Get off my butt!  Or I will completely take my foot off the gas and coast ’til you get the picture!
Pay attention – if there is open road ahead of you, and a string of cars in your rear view then STEP ON IT!  At LEAST go the speed limit!

I am sorry – my tolerance is very low and when did we forget that this is a deadly, giant piece of machinery that we are toolin’ around in?  It’s not just a place to drink your latté and catch up on missed voicemails.  It’s a one ton tank that could kill you, someone else or someone you love!!!

Well, I finally did it.  
I rolled down my window the other day and yelled at someone.
Yes, I did and I would do it again.
The kids and I were out, about 30 minutes from home and our suburb is positioned in a way that it is surrounded by long country “routes”… they attach suburb to suburb.  We had gone out to get our gift for the upcoming baby shower (can’t WAIT to share that with you next week!  Making macarons as I type!)  and we were turning right onto one of those country routes, leaving a more populated area.  A car to my upper left COMPLETELY cut off the car in front of me as she moved into the right lane to make her turn, lots of honking ensued and the offender seemed completely oblivious and didn’t give the
“I’m sorry!” wave or anything.  YOU HAVE TO GIVE THE “I’M SORRY” WAVE!  Lest we think you are completely clueless as to your surroundings!
Well, she didn’t.  And I got stuck behind her for mile – after – mile.  Stoplight after stoplight.  Speeding up, slowing down, down, down….  sitting at a green stoplight for an amount of time that seemed like FOR-EV-ER (pronouced á la “The Sandlot”).
 My blood was beginning to boil.

 I had a fussy baby and I hate errands and everytime I looked at this lady her head was DOWN.  You can tell when someone is driving cause their head is UPRIGHT!!!!  If it’s cocked to the side you can bet they are on the phone or facing down you can bet they are texting.

Mile

after

mile.

FINALLY we came to a stoplight and my left turn and I had decided this was the day, this was the day.  But she jumped over to the right hand lane and sat there, way back behind, all alone without pulling up to the light.  Either she could feel my irritation or she was just plane weird.  Lucky for her no one else was turning right.
I actually prayed that the light would stay red long enough for her to figure it out and pull up next to me.  I know that is not right – but I did.  And she did.

I rolled down my window.
Firmly, no swearing but loud enough to really get her attention,

“LADY!  YOU NEED TO PUT 
THAT PHONE DOWN AND DRIVE!”

She said, “It’s my GPS, I’m lost.”

“SO PULL OVER AND FIGURE IT OUT!”

I rolled my window back up, she ended up making the same left I was and followed me, at a healthy distance, without looking down for the next five miles.  I felt sorry for her that she was lost… for a moment at least.  I mean come on, it’s VERY simple around here.  Head North, you’re gonna hit Wisconsin, head East, you will fink yourself sinking into the Lake, head south you’re on your way to Indiana or West?  Iowa.  And if you don’t know your directions, perhaps you shouldn’t be operating a CAR!
But maybe for some of my directionally challenged sista’s that’s a little harsh so here is a big fat clue…
LOOK AT THE SUN!
It rises in the EAST and sets in the WEST!!!

Remember the old days when no one got killed cause we pulled over, got out of our cars and asked for directions!  OH MY GOSH!  THE INCONVENIENCE OF IT ALL!  Those antiquated days when we had to tack three minutes onto our trip…

Look, I am not trying to pull a Harpo here.  And I am not trying to be a B-
But I think we all need a reminder, and I am talking to MYSELF too, of why we are on the road!

Don’t rummage in your purse,
Don’t glance over to reach your coffee,
Don’t paint your nails (last year I saw a man die on the road cause a girl hit him while painting her nails.  No lie.)
Don’t reach back to swat at your kids,
Don’t talk on the phone,
Don’t text,
Don’t look at your GPS,

JUST KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD AND DRIVE.

“Stay alive and just drive.”

Hey, that’s kind of catchy, you read it here first.

Stay alive and just drive.
Lest I pull up next to YOU next time!

hahahahahahahaaaa!

20 Comments

  1. Brynwood Needleworks

    I’m with you, Sista! When I’m behind a clueless driver, they’re either talking on the phone, texting – or they are old, lost and shouldn’t be driving in the first place. Sorry, but I pray that when I’m too old to drive, someone takes away my car keys before God has to send me a real wakeup call. I don’t ever want to be responsible for hurting another human being on the road. And I’d appreciate it if everyone else felt the same way…especially when I’m on my Harley!
    Thanks for the post. I hope everyone in America reads it!
    xoxo
    Donna

    Reply
  2. Carolyne

    A-men! ……..No need to comment further, other than to say….”You’re awesome!”

    Reply
  3. SPLENDEROSA

    You did exactly right, except you might have gotten out of your car taken possession of her GPS and programmed it for her so that IT talked to her. Clueless, stupid, uncaring, witless, and arrogant are the only words to describe these people. I mean, really, how important are those calls, texts?
    xx’s

    Reply
  4. Sherri

    I too feel people today are doing way to many things other than driving! I have seen men shaving, women putting on makeup, a few people reading books while driving and the list goes on and on! People just drive and concentrate on what you are doing!! Loved your post!

    Reply
  5. Turquoise Diaries

    I dont know how I ended up in your blog but love it and as a result: I am your newest follower :))

    Reply
  6. Adrienne

    You need to work a bit harder on telling us what you really think. heh

    I was just on a lake cruise and had a discussion with a gentleman about drivers that talked on the phone. I told him I really wanted to start packing a .44 and when someone was turning left in front of me while I was at a stop sign my preferred solution was to just blow them away. They wouldn’t even see it coming because the phone was blocking their view.

    He turned to his wife and said, “Wow, I like the way she thinks.”

    And just yesterday at the deli country half the store was treated to a very loud cell phone conversation some woman was having about what seemed to be a fairly private subject. I really wanted to turn around and smack her.

    Hmmmmm – maybe I need help for my violent tendencies…

    Reply
  7. Adrienne

    ooops deli counter

    Reply
  8. Tina Leigh

    You aint even lie-in!!!! When my youngest son was a teen, he wrecked b/c he was BRUSHING HIS TEETH on the way to school (and let me say, I dont know where he got them driving genes from!).

    And let me add another one to that….WHY do people pull right out in front of semi-trucks?!? I see it ALL the time! Do they think because they are bigger that they can stop quicker?! HELLO?!!!!

    And GPS’s….I hate them! They take you around the world to get to your thumb….they are dangerous too b/c they distract you! I threw my GPS out the window in the city of Jacksonville, Florida earleir this year!!!! (Oh yes I did!) And my mama liked to have had a cow….but I then stopped for directions and got where I needed to go!

    And Sandlot is one of our favorite movies! We say forever like that all the time here! Love it!!!

    Reply
  9. Pamela

    The laws here in this province…no cell phone or texting while driving and now no smoking in a car with children. Love it!
    Try driving with my hubby who is a police officer and gets crazy mad at all the bad drivers out there!

    Reply
  10. Valerie

    Love this post! I agree totally, and unfortunately, have seen more than my fair share of gruesome accident scene photos…what can I say…I’m married to a Fire Medic.

    Anyway, I knew there was a reason I connected with you…besides loving all things French and that is our connection to Michigan. Although I was never a actual resident, my parents were and my grandparents/extended family still are.

    I spent every summer visiting and almost every holiday (less frequently after our move from Ohio to Missouri) the beautiful mitten state! 🙂 Now living in Kansas, and having married a sweetheart from Iowa, having in-laws from Wisconsin, I think I’ve successfully connected to just about every Midwestern state…except Illinois! DARN IT…I guess I’ll just have to make it a point to visit you and Anne Marie!

    Hope all is going well and that crabby baby of yours is now enjoying the comforts of home!

    Blessings,
    Val

    Reply
  11. Anne Marie

    you? with road rage?? I can’t believe it…

    I’m a total dork driving with my hands at 10 and 2 – it is a bit ridiculous

    Reply
  12. Kalee

    Thank you! I have actually yelled at my husband for looking too often at the damn GPS. I’ve told him that he’s no longer allowed to use it since he’s too dependent on it, and when we’re going someplace he has to wait for me to look and tell him where to turn, or just listen to the dang thing.

    People die in car accidents all the time due to self-absorption and bad driving, and I think we all need to do our part and remind ourselves and people we know to quit being a moron.

    Reply
  13. * French Farmhouse 425 *

    ~*LOL..that is why I will never put a Christian Fish on my vehicle..I sometimes too have lost my patience and have become very annoyed with certain drivers..especially the ones who cut you off and put on their breaks!UGH..that drives me crazy!! ~*~* Rachel 😉

    Reply
  14. Parisienne Farmgirl

    French Farmhouse –
    SO FUNNY! I WOULD NEVER put a Christian Fish on my car! I mean, If I blow my witness on this blog or something or with a friend, I can come back and say, look, I blew it, I did not represent my Savior very well, but oh man, I just would never put that on my car!

    And Anne, I am with you only I am like 11 and 4, but I swear sometimes I feel like I look like a nerd cause I am the only one on the road actually DRIVING!

    And, let me confess that I used to use my cell phone ALL THE TIME but then I started getting horrible headaches and I just threw it in my purse and have not looked back… I am not perfect, I do use it on occasion but try to limit it to the ridiculous long red lights we have around here! I am only a recent convert to nixing the use while driving.

    Reply
  15. Jenn V

    Haha! Laughing at the comment about the Christian fish. I, too, do not have a fish on my car lest my driving turn someone off to Christians and I doom their immortal soul.

    Reply
  16. SK

    lol–agree, agree! 🙂

    Reply
  17. Lou

    I was taught, when learning to drive, to ‘keep the traffic moving.’

    That means things like… don’t pull out from the side into oncoming traffic if anyone will need to slow down to accommodate you. And don’t slow down to move into the turning lane until after moving into that lane.

    Of course, sometimes you have to slow down to turn into a corner, but as much as possible, KEEP THE TRAFFIC FLOWING. (Are you all hearing me? Just a tiny bit of road-rage coming thru me here… lol)

    I live in Sydney, which is fairly horrid for traffic so this is especially important. Unfortunately, we seem to have an enormous amount on unlicensed or brain-dead drivers on our roads but.. c’est la vie!

    Reply
  18. Victoria

    I know you weren’t inviting our lists of “driver don’ts” but…
    – Don’t use the phone unless you’re at a stoplight.
    – Find out where you’re going AHEAD OF TIME! Look over the gps directions in your driveway.
    – Decide your speed and set your cruise, but do be so kind as to MOVE OVER when someone wants to pass!
    – And here’s the major one.. with an anecdote.. do not – I repeat – DO NOT throw your still burning cigarette out the window so it hits my car, or goes underneath! Use your dang ashtray. Your car stinks like a cigarette anyway, right??

    So here’s my story on that one…
    On the way back from the shower, a girl driving in front of us threw a lit cig and it sprayed sparks all over the front window of our car. Thank goodness the sun roof wasn’t open! Your brother was driving.

    So he begged me to let him get in front of her and throw our unused ketchup out the sunroof so it splattered HER window. I must be at that stage where, I just don’t have the mental energy to argue, so I said “sure.” Hey, at least it wasn’t ON FIRE, which is more than I can say for her garbage!!

    Is that something a godly woman agrees to?? Sheesh, someone slap me.

    Reply

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