Restore to Me the Joy of My….

Jun 12, 2015 | On Motherhood | 27 comments

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood | Parisienne Farmgirl

“Restore to me the joy of my Salvation.”

-King David.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

One of my favourite verses in the Bible.

And should it be any surprise that God’s Word can be applied to every area of our lives?

(Please know, I in no way mean to equate SALVATION with the things mentioned in this post).

But have you ever gotten away from your ideals?

Have you ever gained back the weight? Stopped that daily reading time? Put the workouts on the back burner? Lost your motivation in your job?

Of course.

We all have.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

When I became a parent I had all sorts of ideals. And you know what? I stand by each one of them even today. Ten years later I do not look back and think, “Oh, you were so naive.”


I hate brats.

“Give me two weeks with that kid!” I would say. Cause yes, I was… a ball buster.

But fast forward ten years and some of the bust in my… errrr… well… it’s gone.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

I’m tired. The decibel level is loud. Homemade play-do is no longer a joy. It’s a colossal pain in the butt. The laundry is constant and you know what? I just want to friggin go for a run and put on my mascara without interruption.

Naptimes are fragmented. Baseball (our first year with a sport) is incredible and I totally love it (forget the boy… MOMMA loves going to the games) but it’s wreaking havoc on an already stressful evening situation.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

My sweet little number five… well… she is a pistol.

I mean like Annie Get Your Gun. Pis-tol. I mean like watch out world. She’s been able to eat with a fork since ten months, crawl out of her bed since seventeen months and she can arch her back and give me “what for” in public in such a way where I want to crawl under my truck and never come out. No matter how firm I am with her people glare and me like, “LOSER”. It’s so not fair.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

If I was reading me writing these words ten years ago I would have never believed it.

“Not on my watch!” I would have bellowed.

Well… it DID happen on my watch. Five years of P.M. shifts of hubbies job… gardens… homeschooling… thyroid problems… exhaustion… and poof. I gave in.

Over, and over, and over.

And you know what? In many ways, I lost the joy of my motherhood. Now don’t get me wrong – you KNOW how crazy I am for these kids but my fuse became a bit shorter. The end of the day a bit more longed for. The time with the other children spent less and less as I baby wrangled this strong-willed beauty.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

Well. I allowed some people to speak into my life. Ever so briefly. (‘Cause I really am not too keen on other people’s opinions.) But they said their peace.

And guess what?

I AM MOMMA. HEAR ME ROAR.

I’m back. I’ve got my big girl panties on and ain’t no in-public tantrum and launch out of a crib is going to scare me.

See, in an effort to keep the peace I only created more chaos and this is me… owning it.

Ouch.

Did I say OUCH?

Cause I meant OUCH.

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

Restore to Me The Joy of My Motherhood

So Lord. Restore to me the joy of my Motherhood. All aspects of it. Even the hard parts. Help me remember that I AM MOMMA and help me only roar… when needed. 🙂

Yes. My plate is very, very full. (If you haven’t noticed… that’s the way I like it). And yes, when you ring me up it can be rather loud in the background. It’s a VERY small house for 5 children ten and under. Lot’s of noise people. Lot’s of noise. And I AM raising little sinners here. And sinners are loud.

But we’re going back to hardcore “please” and “thank you” – hardcore, “Mom dinner was delicious.” hardcore, “Yes Momma  I’d be happy to.” and “What can I do for you, Momma?” and “Put your head DOWN and stay in your bed.”

I am resuming my right to the throne. I am Momma and it’s for their own good.

VIVE la REINE.

 


Where have you lost your joy? If you had to fill in this line from King David:

“Restore to me the joy of my _______________________” What would you say?

Are you ready, willing and able to own it? Whatever “it” may be?

Are you ready, willing and able to fight for it? No matter the embarrassment or cost?

I know we can do it.


And next time you see a child throw a tantrum in public judge softy… maybe it’s a tired Momma like me who lost her way for a few months.

Angela Parisienne Farmgirl

27 Comments

  1. Kristi

    I lost my joy. Energy and mojo after moving in this house! It took me while to realize it because of homeschooling, horses, sports, and etc. But when it’s all said and done, Im more interested in spending all my energy with my kids and our hobbies and passions rather than taking care of this place that overwhelmes me!! Hopefully next year I’ll be in a smaller house with all my gardens again (that I used to love tending) and enjoying everything again! I needed this tonight to seal the deal!

    Reply
  2. Rose

    Yes, yes and Yes! You are right on Angela! We are so so blessed beyond measure to be mothers…BUT! We are so very challenged each and every day! God has to step in and walk beside us and “fill in the gaps where we fall short ” daily…Hang in there Momma! You are a great Mom with a full plate…and one day, you will miss this and so will I…blessings to you friend and neighbor 🙂

    Reply
  3. Nita

    Well, you just can’t give in or up because the teen years are ahead, and even when they are adults, you stand by and see all their heartbreak and struggles. It never gets easier, cause then the grandkids come. And then it’s all pleasure and there is your reward.

    Reply
  4. mandy

    oh yes. except for me it was my first. Jesus brought me to my knees with that one. and you know what? it has humbled me and taught me more than anything else I’ve done. parenting that child has shown me God’s grace in ways I never imagined. thank GOD I’m not that prideful mama I would have been had I not had him.

    Reply
  5. Donna

    I remember a time in raising my girls when they were really little, when I thought to myself, I’ve lost control. Must maintain control, not them controlling me. But that happens throughout childhood, There will be times that you are wondering what in the heck am I doing? There was always prayer, Lord show me the way to get this back on track. He always showed me the way, leave it in his hands! You are doing good, but my advice is to let them know you are Mom first, friend second, and that you expect respect back, from the respect you give them. You are doing good. You are blessed! But remember you are more than a mother also!

    Reply
  6. Angie

    Yes! I wish I had been as aware of these things when my girls were younger. It took me a while longer to figure it out. Then I realized, like you, that mothering is like steering a ship that needs a check on navigation to make sure it’s still on course. I went a while off course and it takes longer to get back. Thank God for His gentle nudgings and that He has lots of patience! Thanks for sharing! Many moms need to know they aren’t the only one struggling. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Darla

    This is the stuff. I love that pistol. This world needs more women with the strength of that girl. You’re the perfect mother for her and she’s lucky to have you to help Shepard that strength.
    Great post. Thank you for your vulnerability (and humor)

    Reply
  8. Angela Muller

    Angela, as usual an honest, great post. All children are gifts from God, but my one child, was a special recipe, because God knew this MOMMA’S limitations. So, my beautiful daughter, now an adult, is the most important, best thing I’ve ever done! However, I, too, lost my joy, but not with the daunting responsibility of being a parent, but by choosing the wrong partner for this journey. Once that issue was resolved, I felt a burden fall from my shoulders, allowing me the freedom to embrace the joys of this wonderful child, and my life. Thanks for your honest, always courageous sharing!

    Reply
  9. Kathleen Botsford

    Love this post! My youngest just graduated from college and is off in the fall to her dream job in LA. ( I live very near you). I have been amazed and inspired by you each and every time you post. Yes….YOU are the MOMMA and you can redirect and change course whenever you choose. It’s YOUR prerogative, your right and your Divine duty. That’s how I did with everyone telling me I couldn’t or I was crazy or naive. (NO video games? How dare you deprive your children in this day and age!) You go Momma!

    Reply
  10. Glynis

    Amen!
    But your children do look like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths in all of their pictures : )

    Reply
  11. Bonnie Schulte

    I enjoyed reading this post, and how honest you are. Altho, I am 75, I can remember our 3 boys growing up, each one so different from the other, good days, and “Naughty days”. And boys, as you know, by now, can and will, get into trouble ever so often. I would give anything to go back to the “sweetness” and the growing pains of the days, when they were so young. Cherish every moment,, they grow up too quickly, Our oldest son died of cancer at 34, leaving two lovely grand-daughter, but he has left an empty place in our hearts. The second oldest (46) is an awesome young man, good job, well liked by everybody, a great wife and two “good” boys. Youngest son,(42) is married also, former Marine, and beautiful wife, and 4 daughters. Time passes so quickly, but you are certain to be the proudest Mama, in the world, most protective, no matter what he age of your children, And when I read your posts, I know you are the best Mama your children are lucky to have…(a noisy house, usually means a HAPPY HOME)

    Reply
  12. Gaylin

    Well said! We have all been through this,I think !?
    I don’t judge other people’s children or parenting skills…..any more! Hehehehe
    People who live in glass houses you know!
    We do the best we can everyday,what we are capable at that moment,day,night.

    Reply
  13. Lori

    Ohh the joys of Motherhood! Some of it seems like a blur….so overwhelmed, so tired, but never regretted. Maybe one regret… that i want some of it back, the noise and chaos is missed when its gone.

    Reply
  14. Kristi

    Ps- I always tell people I was the BEST parent BEFORE I had kids!!!! LOLOL! I knew JUST how I’d do everything. Uh huh!! Anyway, It IS tiring and you DO give in every now and then. But realizing it and changing it is what matters. We all fall, but getting up and continuing is what matters! 🙂

    Reply
  15. Victoria

    I’m personally not sure what to fill that blank in with. My sense of self? My love for others? My patience? Because all of those things DO bring me joy.. But it’s probably my forgiveness that I should put there. Because if I acted as forgiving as I know I’ve been forgiven, well… I’d go a lot easier on these girls.

    See, I’ve been trying to put my foot down, and demand the respect, but it ain’t coming. Maybe because another baby is. Maybe because that patience isn’t. So I’m trying to go softer, because I’m too hard on them. But your words here are not lost on me. You’ve been a guidepost for me.. and still are.. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction all these years.

    Reply
  16. Kathy

    There’s nothing like having children to make one a bit humble haha. i never really argued the old…..is it nature or nurture discussion. I believe it’s nature, nurture and personality. My most challenging child I knew would be the one that would be very independent. The exact reason she was difficult as an adult would be her strongest asset. My first thought when you talked about your little headstrong missy was…she just might be a lot like you haha. When a friend called my daughter little Kathy I realized Yikes! She’s right!

    Reply
  17. Katie

    Goodness it’s like we’re on the same wavelength. I have five under seven, and we have house guests, so we’re at 8 under 7. Three two year olds, Angela. And two under twelve months. So I was thinking the same thoughts. I said to my husband, “Where did the ‘no leaving the table until you are excused’ rule go? It’s back to basics. The weeding will wait until prayers have been said properly. Read at least one story (by one, we really mean two. It’s like a glass of wine. There is no such thing as one.) per day. And for the love of God, you kids will wait and let me nurse my baby in peace! I am truly consoled by your loud children. Mine certainly are…Loud. Passionate. Wholehearted, Strong willed. Determined. And hopefully amazing men and women one day, that have self control and a joie de vivre that makes it all come full circle. God save the queen.

    Reply
  18. Kate Bartlett

    My children deserve much better than me at times, but I always tried my very best. My challenging child (oldest) is now 19, still finding his way but is very intelligent, sensitive and kind. I often think I should have done things differently but I realise if I had my time again I probably would respond in the same way because I’m me. I love them so much and am very proud of them.

    Reply
  19. Doré @ BurlapLuxe

    I hear yah! I was one of those Moms who would look at other moms kids acting up in a store and say that’s not going to be me! My two a son then a daughter always knew my no was no! And yes was yes, and no bending the rules. If one was out of line and disruptive to the day of what was going on in public we left. Many times the tantrum would begin because my son could not have what he wanted in a store, and guess what instead of standing there with him embarrassed and crawling under the toy shelf or giving that stink eye to him, I would say no! And warn him if it continues we leave… And after a few times leaving places that were fun for him, the tantrums all stoped and Mom had her mom rights back.

    I hear you with strong powerful willed children, at the same time of control I also empowered their will to express themselves not to break their beautiful spirits to speak out. Yep! I hear you girl !

    I have to tell you, both my children were early at everything, in their own beds by age 1 because I could not keep them in a crib, I knew I was going to be busy with them, and at the same time not wanting to hold them back.
    Your doing a beautiful job, and it shows, know one could disput that, it’s so apparent as to all you do for your family.

    See you soon
    Xx
    Dore

    Reply
  20. Teambarrett

    So beautifully written Angela! You have inspired me!

    Reply
  21. Marta Martin

    There is nothing more humembling than having a child and being a mother. I USED to be one of those gals who made fun of (in my head) the tired mom without makeup and the wrinkled jeans. I did. And I have asked for God’s forgiveness because in my ignorance, I thought THEY JUST DON’T HAVE IT TOGETHER. And you know what? All mother’s find themselves in this place in time, at one time or another. I’m at that place now – where kids are not sleeping through the night and I am balanced a million things. And the weight stays on. And on. And on. And tears don’t make it go away. And there is just no time. But it is JUST a season … and there will come a time when I will be able to prioritize my physical self again. But for now, I count it all joy – the hour I spend with my children as opposed to going for a run. Because in a couple of years, they will be running with me, playing tennis with me and I will STILL look back lovingly at this time. So to all you moms out there – hang in there! Do your best and if you can’t do anything else, well, brush your teeth and put on a pretty lipstick.

    Reply
  22. Ashley

    Yes! Over and over, yes. Thank you for these words.
    (“And Sinners is loud.” Totally hilarious.)
    I haven’t read your blog for years (mama got BUSY with nursing school and babies and all of the things) but how refreshing to come back to “reconnect” with you.
    (I used to be Star-Crossed, by the way…maybe you remember.)
    Anyhow…ROAR on, mama!

    Reply
    • Ashley

      @ashleysessentials on insta. 😉

      Reply
  23. Gale Welden

    I am 66 years old. I became a mother for the first time at age 48. I raised only one child who is the love of my life. My home is very quiet now and my time is all mine mostly. You have my utmost respect as a mother because raising one child nearly finished me off. Enjoy the times when you get your strength and resolve back because I found it to be intermittent. You go girl! You’re doing an awesome job!

    Reply
  24. Nita Hiltner

    No matter how hard it seems now, and it is, this is the best time of your life with children. When they grow up and bad things happen to them and you have NO control and cannot help them, that is hell on earth. I have a 3 yr old grandson that pulls the tantrums in stores, and my daughter just takes him out while people look on. What can you do? You are a great mom and everyone knows it. This is your treasure that nothing else in life will ever compare to. I know you love it.

    Reply
  25. Terri Smith

    A wise woman once told me, as I was pregnant and ready to pop with my first born child…NEVER SAY NEVER. Yes, I made some bold predictions. My child will NEVER eat at McDonald’s, he will NEVER start the day with nothing less than a healthy breakfast. My child will NEVER be allowed to pitch fits in the store, and will NEVER have anything but the most exemplary of manners. And so the list went on. I scoffed at the woman in my stubborn, know-it-all fashion and thought “Oh yeah….I’ll show you”.
    My ideals on parenting and child rearing were based on the notion that I could control it all (yes, I WAS A CONTROL FREAK…ADMITTED! But many years have passed and I am now a RECOVERING CONTROL FREAK.) Fast forward 31 years and 3 beautiful kids later and well, I can admit to the following:
    I have an attic full of Happy Meal toys circa 1987-2000. My children had, on more than one occasion, had M&Ms for breakfast, pitched major kicking and screaming fits in every retail chain in Northern Illinois and at times needed a more than gentle reminder to use their inside voices, say “thank you”, brush your teeth and stop teasing your sister!
    I can honestly say that woman’s words are now the advice I most often share with parents-to-be. My ideals on parenting were not lost along the way…but I did adapt. And my children survived. Not only did they learn valuable life lessons from me (“don’t talk to strangers!”, “don’t forget you sunscreen!” “don’t do what everyone else is doing just to fit in if you know it is wrong!” yada, yada, yada!) but I learned some very valuable lessons from them. PATIENCE, FLEXIBILITY, COMPROMISE, LETTING-GO, and that I am willing to “choose my battles”. I also learned that I could make mistakes, admit to as much to them and they forgave me. I think they were comforted to know that even moms and dads fail sometimes and we learn from those failures as we hope the kids learn from theirs. Was it a long road? YES. Were there bumps along the way? CERTAINLY. But we all SURVIVED and have some funny tales to tell about the trip.

    We mothers need to stop beating ourselves up over our perceived failures and take a lesson from each and every one. . . .and remember-NEVER SAY NEVER.

    Reply
  26. Ann

    To all my sisters in Christ: I would trade any of my days for one of your most challenging, or “worst-est” days filled with petulant children. A perpetual empty womb, rivers of quiet tears, the stupidity of people asking why I DIDNT have children (as if I had a choice), strangle my heart every day. Enjoy every aggravating moment because the moments will fly by. And in your old age, you will sit back and marvel at your growing family; “how great Thou art”. (and yes, we tried adoption…we were deemed too old).

    Reply

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