Random thoughts on Marriage…

Aug 22, 2006 | Pop Culture/Politics, Spiritual | 3 comments

I can not stop reflecting on this weekend. After an almost 9 hour drive (it should have taken five!) we (Nic, Vic, Babes and Big Daddy) found ourselves in the boondocks. That is Evart, Michigan to celebrate the wedding our beloved cousin Ben and his darling bride Annie.
Not since my own nuptuals have I enjoyed myself at a wedding. Hosted at the summer camp where they were employed and met the ceremony took place in a log cabin chapel. Simple and sweet and Christ honoring, I cried thru the entire hour. Then Grandpa drove the wedding party to the reception in a John Deere and attached trailor. How cool.
We danced like crazy maniacs for at least 3 hours. The dance floor never cleared (except during Nic’s stellar performance of the Bohemian Rhapsody). It was the most fun I have had at a wedding since ours in the little log cabin outside of Chicago 11 years ago.

Marriage. It is a lost art. To quote Victoria, “I am so sick of disposable marriage.”

Me too.

Today’s lovers are more content to share rent than convenant. It is so sad. By the time they get married (if they ever do) how many people will they have played house with? The thrill will be gone. And after 3.5 years when “emotional needs” aren’t being met someone will do a little research on divorce lawyers in their area on the internet…

You see, God created this plan for marriage. It’s simple. He wants to be a part of it. Yes, sometimes my “emotional needs” are not met, I know the same is true for Joel. We change. We are human. We have nasty days and loving days. Selfish days and giving days. But God is unchanging. And if he has his rightful place in our marriage then he is the constant in our marriage. I can take the pressure OFF of Joel for my “needs” and put them where they should be, on the throne of the only one who can provide them for me, my Heavenly Father. This of course requires a daily decision to do just that. Some days I make it, some days I don’t. But marriages last when two people decide there is no “out.” I was sharing with someone the other day the incredible feeling that came over me after our wedding, “Wow, he can’t break up with me!” The permanency of what we had just agreed to was so profound that it was as if there was no way out. We made a covanent with each other and God. There is no “out.”

Our advice to Ben and Annie was this, “Always move towards each other.” Not only when it is easy like snuggling on the couch with a great movie, but even during the worst of fights. Stay on the same side of the room, uncross your arms, hold hands, reach out and stroke a forearm. If you can’t say it with words at that moment then say it with body language, “I am committed to you. I want to strangle you right now but I am here and moving closer.”

I heard the other day that for couples who pray together on a constant basis the divorce rate is one in ten thousand. Can you believe that? As compared with a little over one in two. If that alone doesn’t say that God has to be involved.

I told you these where random thoughts. That is all I have to say right now…I will post photos from the Wilke Wedding as soon as some of you send them to me…(my camera battery had died!)


  1. cityfarmer

    Made your mama cry.
    Was such fun being with all you.
    Pledging to pray MORE together.
    Love all your researching.

  2. teambarrett18

    Beautiful! My husband and I have been married for many years and never have I felt the need for a “chat room” or some other type of companion to help fullfill my “emotional needs”. I believe that individuals are responsible for looking within themselves as well as toward God to meet these needs.

  3. julee

    There were 700 fence posts!


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