Pressure and a Mid-October Garden Review

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A vulnerable moment.

Everyday life has been incredibly thick as of late. The cow and calf are not doing as well as we would have liked and we’ve been battling mastitis on and off for over six weeks. The calf isn’t nearly as aggressive with milking as she should be. Little brat. I’m quite resentful of her. A home dairy cow is the cream of the crop, the queen, the priority. You HATE to see her uncomfortable and you’re committed to keeping her as healthy and content as she can be. A full-time job in this case. Ok, maybe part-time. But nonetheless VERY consuming.

The kids have been struggling with impetigo. Something I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy. Daily, my heart has been pulled out and stomped on seeing them suffer and temporarily disfigured, if I’m allowed to use so strong a word. I’ve had moments where I’ve though, “Is your face going to FALL OFF????”

It’s like that with life. No matter what you’re going through or the circumstances around you, it just keeps barreling forward. The irony is, that I fancy myself to live a more quiet life. It may be quiet, but its demands are many.

Enter YouTube.

I love making videos, but lately, something is off. And I’d be so sad if my audience felt that, but I’m sure they do. I’m grateful for them for sticking with me (and if you think this is your chance to leave a comment letting me know how off I’ve been, for the love of God, restrain yourself. I have feelings.). I don’t know if it’s the ads and all the hassle that goes with them as a creator (but you can’t work for free), or the lack of time to create the art I want to create via videos. But I’m working things out. Ruminating if you will if we wanted to stay with a bovine theme. I’m not content to keep things as they are. I’m an action-oriented kind of gal. And I refuse to stay miserable for too long.

The creative, entrepreneur, mother, and farmer is a unique beast. I know there are a few of you out there. Your energy knows no bounds and yet sometimes you hit a wall and are forced to reaccess the situation. That’s me right now. Who am I talking to? I’m not sure. Maybe the true friends that have been with me for over a decade, who back in my blogging heyday used to just let me vent and didn’t feel the need to offer a solution.

“Just work it out, girl.”

So. In that spirit. With that back story. Here’s my latest video. I wanted to just sit and chat about the garden with you. If I look tired. I was. And yet, with formulating these thoughts, chewing my cud as it were, I am energized and feel committed to taking a step back, doing a touch less so that what I do can be my very best.

3 thoughts on “Pressure and a Mid-October Garden Review”

  1. Do what you gotta do. Life is always changing especially as a farmer, homeschooler and work at home mom. There are times when it gets very hectic and we have to take a step back and reassess the situation and prioritize what is #1. Your not alone.

  2. Dearest Ang,
    I am so sorry you are going through these trials. Please know that I am praying for you and your family, including the animals! Prayers for peace, joy, and comfort from our wonderful Father who knows our needs and our limits. Your videos bring me much joy and peace and I wish I could give back what you have provided to me. As we transition to the autumn/winter months. I pray that God will give you rest/rejuvenation, and time to become closer to him, your family, and your followers. We all love you and want the best of God’s blessings for you.
    Love from Tennessee,
    Lisa

  3. Dear Angela,

    From a deep corner of the south, I honestly say ‘Bless your heart’. Impetigo and Bovine mastitis sound like a world of hurt and lost sleep. I can imagine the other things just fall away for a while and focus stays laser strong on healing.

    I loved the last issue of your quarterly. I bought it on a one time basis, and intend to buy again, and am thinking strongly of subscribing now facebook is absent from the group bits.

    Thanks for really pouring in your wealth of enthusiasm, knowledge and willingness to keep things active for your site and lovely magazine; and keeping a group together. We all need the active comfort of community in so many ways right now.

    The monarchs are still flying down here-no signs of snow for quite some time in these parts!

    Best to you,
    Anne McCarroll
    Memphis

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