My Confession…

Nov 24, 2007 | Uncategorized | 3 comments

Ok.  I’m doing my best but I am learning that even that is sometimes not enough.  

Allow me to gripe, complain and vent on a worldwide level for a moment would you?
I am hanging in there.  Sometimes it feels like by only a thread though.   Every day is the same thing.  Joel works, Joel comes home, eats dinner with us and goes up to the “room” until 1ish in the morning.  In the meantime our mattress has turned into the mattress from hell and every bone our bodies hurts when we wake up – never mind I have this little tank of a baby (5.5 pounds already two weeks ago!!!) that has decided to take up Kung Fu and has chosen mornings and evenings after I eat as his practice time –  causing me to promptly throw up everything I have eaten.  Even my lovely Thanksgiving meal.  The baby is so heavy these days that every time I barf I pee my pants.  Lord make it stop!
The puking has become a regular occurance and just like in my first trimester Aidan has taken to imitating me and now joins me at the toilet and makes gaging sounds right along with his Momma – lovely.  
“I puke with Mom.” he says.
Two nights in a row this week I averaged 5.5 hours of sleep and by the third night I broke down in Joel’s arms and sobbed like a baby.  I could not stop.  I just want this to be over with.  I want to access my clean clothes from a proper dresser, not from a folded pile in the hallway, I want to fall asleep with Joel next to me in a new King Size Bed (being delivered Tuesday) instead of to the sounds of him working his ASS of alone in a cold, dirty work zone and I want to hold this baby and watch “him” kick – not FEEL him kick.
If I have to peel back a wall of plastic to pee in the middle of the night one more time I might scream.
On top of all of this (which I KNOW is not that much compared to other people’s stress!!!) we have had a little pest problem in the kitchen and despite tons of traps and a neurotic level of keeping the kitchen clean we still have uninvited guests.  Every time Joel gets ready to start in on a new stage of the bedroom we find a new cabinet that has been invaded and out comes the bleach and curse words from Joel.  
His limbs are falling asleep at night from overwork and his hands feel like they have been run over by Uncle Johns semi.
We are potty training.  And I stress the word – TRAINING.  Somedays he (Aidan not Joel 🙂 does wonderfully and somedays he gets so caught up in his drawings or dancing that he forgets.  Seeing his little butt run around in Elmo underwear almost makes it all worth it.  Last night he said, “I wear underwear to bed?”  And my response was, “Yeah right kid.”  There is NO WAY I am changing your sheets everyday in this condition – I would like to go into labor about a week early – not FOUR weeks early.
There is light at the end of the tunnel – I won’t be pregnant forever (and though I’d like a few more kids as Scarlett says, “I won’t think about that today, I’ll think about that tomorrow!”)
Joel trapped one our little “friends” the other day – I have never seen him dance with such joy and we have not seen a turd since, the Grande Chambre will  have color on the walls by Tuesday and the electricity has been run, I made a lovely Thanksgiving meal for my little family which brought me immense pleasure, my Mom is coming for a night next week to help me around here and I am so excited to have the extra pair of hands I myself could dance with joy, my list is getting done little by little (putting the room back and raking my yard are the two things really getting to me at this point) but all the little precious clothes are cleaned, the basinet-pack-n-play-changing-station-things is set up in the living room, one Christmas tree is up and decorated as is the rest of the house (we still have to cut our real tree tomorrow)…I can see the light.
But, I just wanted to give my excuses for not commenting, let alone getting to read everyone’s blogs lately.   Simply keep us in your prayers (or show up at my door, dust pan in had) —  I know it’s normal to get a little emotional before a birth so we are hanging in there and can’t wait to hold P.R. le Deuxieme in our arms!!!  
30 more days!!!
Author’s note-
(I wrote this two days ago and despite how pathetic it reads 48 hours later I decided to post it anyways but wanted to let you know that in about 3 hours the room will be primed and cleaned, I have not barfed since writing the post – I’ve even got my eye makeup on and Joel keeps telling me how pretty I look – he also said he was getting so used to me looking like I was going to puke that my blown out hair and makeup was very refreshing for him. )

I’ve gotten a grip but thanks for indulging me once again!!!


  1. Faith

    Oh my. Complete craziness.I’m so sorry for all the stress you guys have been under. It will all be worth it in no time. Love you guys!!!

  2. HomemakerAng

    my dear, i wont give much advice, i hate when people do that, but one thing, only 1 promise!

    I would not worry about the potty training thing, REALLY DONT even do it right now! BECAUSE, when you are nursing A will need help to go… I found it easier to have 2 in diapers… wait till grocery store adventures and he wants to use the filthy bathroom and you have to drag all 3 of you in there!

    I trained my first born in one day because she was ready, although she was almost 3… she did do poopy on the potty first at about 2 and 4 months…

    let yourself off the hook!

    you have a great hubby, this will all be over soon. I REMEMBER ALL TO WELL! EEK!

    If i lived near you i would cook you a big pot of stew and make homemade bread and drop it on your door step! I had 3 people bring meals my last 3 weeks of preg and it helped more than it did after the birth!

    pretty soon you will be holding that babe and you will see your toes!

  3. Parisienne Farmgirl

    Oh – my toes! I painted them the other day – what a contortionistic riot!!!


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