Moms Be Encouraged

Jan 24, 2014 | Full Time Family, On Motherhood | 16 comments

Allow me to prattle.

I keep saying how much I miss my blog and yet I can’t seem to find this time to get my fingers on these keys.  It’s been a long couple months.  Baby girl is putting me through the ringer.  Sleep?  What’s sleep?  It seems to only occur if I am laying next to her.  Alas, by the time I FINALLY get her calmed down it’s anywhere between 9 and 11pm.   By then I’ve lost my mojo or any blogs I had written in my head while rocking her.

I’m trying to hard to be what the kids need me to be.  I vacillate between doing fine and freaking out – like any Mom I am sure.  During the freak out moments the self doubt kicks in.  What am I doing wrong?  Are my kids getting a proper education with all the time I spend with the baby?  How long should I let her SCREAM?  Even now, after a 45 minute soothing, nursing, calming down session I’ve been at the computer (IE: away from her) for ten minutes and she is screaming.

Be right back:)

The days dishes are half done and the sink is still full.
I’m tired of being on my feet.

Champagne please.

It’s easy to wonder if you are having an effect isn’t it?
All your hard work and nothing is ever perfect?  

Confessions of a type-A who doesn’t have the time or luxury anymore of being a type-A.

Sheer mental torture.

Fear not.
This too shall pass.
And yes, you are having an effect.

It’s awkward for me to share this cause no matter what I say, some will fine me boastful but that is not my heart – my heart is for encouraging you.

It’s come to my attention recently from a good handful of different people that our little family does in fact impact lives (by God’s grace and for His glory).  See, I get to believing the lie that those that come into our home can’t really be ministered to if my floors are dirty, if Joel’s forgotten to take the garbage bag I put on the porch out to the dumpster?  How could anyone feel God’s love if I didn’t get to wash my hair after my workout? 

Little lies.

I’ve had the privilege and encouragement of being told lately: how comfortable people feel visiting in our living room, how I’ve encouraged them in their motherhood, how the kids are enjoyable because they can interact with adults, how the food I offer my guests makes them feel loved…

These gracious words at times were too much and I’m afraid I didn’t know how to receive them but the allowed me to see that it’s not all in vain.  That the ministry that I hope comes from our family, from this farm is actually happening.  

And I would wager it’s happening on your end too.  Perhaps you just haven’t been told.   So I am telling you.  You Mom’s who are on your knees for your kids, who Mom’s who are trying to change the world one patient moment at a time – it’s working.  I have to believe that.  You have to believe that.  

What you do does matter.

When you take that extra moment to discipline in the middle of chaos – it matters.
When you come to your babies and apologize for being a witch (as I had to do today) – it matters.
When you make someone a hot meal or send someone out the door with a special treat from your kitchen – in this fast food, microwave world – it matters.
When you crack open the Bible and just go over ONE verse with a child – it matters.  
When you stop nagging and sincerely love on and praise hubby IN FRONT of the children – it matters.

I come from a family where perfection, or the appearance of it matters.  I’m not disparaging them/that but coming to terms that perfection is not something I can hold myself to in this chapter of my life is important for me – I have to do that at least a couple times a week.  Now I could do it, that’s just the energy and drive that I have but it would be at my families expense.   Instead I have to take a deep breath and pray for patience and grace constantly and see that perfection is not a ministry.  It might keep ME sane but it’s not a real ministry – unless I am worshiping at the alter of myself.  Which alas, is where I often find myself.

Be encouraged.  Thanks for listening reading.
Angela
Parisienne Farmgirl

16 Comments

  1. Megan Groves

    Thank you so much. I needed this tonight.

    Reply
  2. Brenda Hodges

    A time for everything, Angela…so glad you ‘know’ that and now praying that you relax into it. This is the season for family and if anything else happens wonderful, if not, that’s great too.

    Reply
  3. Karina Russell

    Most of us have been there – worrying if we are doing enough or doing it right. When my kids were little, I heard something from Dr. Dobson that I repeated over and over to myself. It was: No matter if you’ve snapped at your children, or if you’ve been too busy, or whatever you feel your shortcomings are, as long as the overall feeling in the home is one of love and acceptance, your children will be OK. They say that people remember how you made them feel over anything else. You have a house full of children and it can’t look like a magazine cover all the time. That is life!

    Reply
  4. cheapdiva

    As someone who pretty much raised 4 kids on my own (ex-husband was gone for work Sunday night until Friday night, just one reason for the divorc), and worked full time AND went to school nights – no one can do it All all of the time.

    I had more than my share of melt downs, exhausting days and nights, and yet, we all survived. The two oldest are married with kids of their own and they REALLY get it. The other two also thank me for helping them make it to adulthood.

    Just keep doing the best you can and don’t try for perfection . . . It doesn’t exist except on t.v., in movies and magazines!

    Reply
  5. Katzcradul

    I remember the days you speak of so well. And you’re SO right…this time will pass and you will ache to have it back. Live the moment. Don’t let a second of it pass without living it. The busy-work will always be there. As long as there are a few pieces of clean silverware in the drawer and everyone has one set of clean clothes…it’s all good! Take care of what matters…loving you babies and your husband.

    Reply
  6. http://www.myfullcup.com

    This was one of my favorite posts. I think “the world” totes a”Type A” personality as successful and responsible. Nooooo!! We need to give EVERYTHING, especially our crazy Type A control issues, which really are all about us to HIM. One day at a time….one hour at a time. So thrilled for the bits of encouragement you have received. We sooo need that!! xo,Gina

    Reply
  7. Dawn

    Amen to what Katzcradul said.
    Amen!

    Reply
  8. Shaye Elliott

    This is the best thing I’ve read in a long, long time. Blessings to you Angela!

    Reply
  9. Sharon Morrison

    When I was 17, I had my first child. I knew right after giving birth, it would be a cold day in hell before I did this again.
    I decided I would have another child 4 years later, but only after the first one was in Kindergarten. The thought of having 2 in diapers made me shake. Seven year later I had one more child. That was it. No more.

    I have said that to say this: I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you keep from walking out the door and down the road to oblivion. Oh I know it is all about love of your children, but my heart starts palpating when I read what you keep up with. I am type A for sure and I could not have come out of that life sane.

    You have gifts I don’t think you even know you have. There is something inside of you that clicks on when you are just about to jump. What ever you do each day, is enough, period.

    There is a lot of prayer going up for you, that’s for sure. All of us keep you close to our heart.

    Several people have said to me, ” I just don’t know how you do it?” Do what? I ask. “How do you cope with loosing a 40 year partner at 56….suddenly, without warning.”
    Well, I say, “kicking and screaming all the way.” What else am I suppose to do?

    hugs…

    Reply
  10. shirlgirl

    So glad to read your blog today. I have so much to say and can’t get it all said here, so I’ll just say that yes you are right. My children surprise me so much when they tell of their best memories and they are during the time we were constantly broke and in the middle of some project to repair an old broken down house. They have very few memories during the time I went to work to “give us a better life.” At that time we enjoyed life and gave our family our all. Later the job took most of the life out of me leaving very little for the family. Be encouraged and give encouragement, it is so huge in impact.

    Reply
  11. Josephine's Girl

    God bless you! You’re in the thick of it! Katzcradul has the right idea!

    Reply
  12. Evelien Smid

    Something that worked for me was to carry my children on my back in a cloth. You have different ways to do that. I used the traditional ghanaian way, because I lived in Ghana. They are safe on your back, hands free to do what needs to be done and the child feels the warms of the mother and is content.For me it ment happy babies and a happy mam. You can find ways on youtube.
    Bye!

    Reply
  13. Twinkle Terrior

    With each family member – there are at times more dust bunnies, but more love. With age – you worry less about perfection and more about everyone’s happy times. You’re doing a great job b/c you love your family and LOVE is the key to happiness 🙂

    Reply
  14. à la parisienne

    I think raising children is a sure fire way to learn that perfection in any aspect (for ourselves and in our children) is impossible for us to expect and just plain unfair. I read an excellent article a while back that somewhat relates to what you’ve written. It really hit home with me about “appearances” versus who we “really” are (and who are children really are) and how we should teach our children to live.
    Here’s the link: http://www.joshharris.com/2011/09/homeschool_blindspots.php

    When I’m feeling like I’m not doing enough, I often tell myself this: “No one can do 1,000 things to the glory of God.” To give credit, I’m pretty sure I read that in a Beth Moore Bible Study. Those words are so true. While everything we choose to do should be to the glory of God, we don’t have to choose to do everything. Hence the reason I’ve let go of so many hobbies I used to enjoy. And I’ve learned that it’s okay to not do and try everything. In another season I will have the time and opportunities. For now, I must focus on serving the Lord and raising and educating my children.

    Enjoy your time with little Anais and try not to be so hard on yourself. Your children are already learning the most important things in life right now by the way you are choosing to live your life and by you sharing the Gospel with them.

    With love,
    Mandy

    Reply
  15. Marta Montenegro Martin

    SO there with you! Thank you for the encouragement – right back at you. Hospitality is a gift of the spirit and in this world of “entertaining” it is a breath of fresh air.

    Reply

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