This spring I am really missing my chickens.
I am so mad I let them go.
Honestly, If I think about it too much I get that heaviness of depression. You know the one, where you sigh and think, “Come on! This is ridiculous.”
At the time I really felt is was the right thing to do – since we are selling the home and it was such an emotional decision to do so… to put that For Sale by Owner sign in the front yard. (We all cried.) That decision coincided with when I would have had to really duke it out with the City to be able to keep them.
I felt that to be a good Momma, emotionally I couldn’t do both.
I couldn’t begin to detach from the house and try to explain to our Mayor why she is WRONG!
Now the for sale sign is there… for real now, with a realtor… in the MLS and everything…
 and it feels like it’s never going to happen.
There’s a lot of talk around here from all of us about wanting to be on a farm. Probably not enough talk about trusting God and His timing for us.
 I’ve got to tell you… it’s very hard when it’s something we all want so bad.
Very hard.
Everytime I open my back door or run out to the garage for something I swear I can hear their cooing and cackling. A couple of weeks ago Aidan ran something out to the compost bin for me and went out the door calling “Ladies!” in his sweet, sing-song voice.
He stopped dead in his tracks and turned with tears in his eyes to look at me.
He too had forgot they were gone.
I hate things that are out of my control.
I want our home to sell.
We love it, our babies have been born here but we long to go for walks on our property and not around the block. We long for more privacy.
And we can’t wait to have as many chickens as we want.

In the meantime I am struggling with desperation.
Aidan will be seven in two months.
We don’t want to raise him in town.
He is growing so fast.
Is this ever going to happen?
Just sharing my heart.