Meet My Best Friend. | Parisienne Farmgirl

Meet My Best Friend…

No, sorry Big Daddy… I’m not referring to you…
Sorry Momma… not you either…
Meet my best friend-

Suzy Seamripper.

Actually, she’s not my best friend.
She offers no friendship like qualities.
She’s never around when I need her.  Always buried at the bottom of some heap of scraps on my table.  She offers no kind words of encouragement.  On the contrary, she mocks me scornfully whenever we meet.  She’s used and broken, but does not offer her friendship humbly; instead she is proud and haughty as she knows how very desperately I need her.   The more I think about it the more I hate her.  I know she thinks I am a fool and that my reliance on her is rather pathetic.
So went my sewing day today.
I have three skirts and two dresses to finish in two weeks.  (Can you hear her laughing???)  I had joy in finally finding plaid that I love but it has since departed in a sea of bias-cut blues.  I’ve got a little over two weeks…

Today pattern lingo is alluding me.
I mean – what the heck?  Why can’t a pattern speak in a normal language?
“Easy Sew” – Easy sew my rear end!!!  Maybe if your last name is Versace!

“Stitch in the Ditch” – This sounds like something one might do after too many glasses of Bordeaux!

“Baste” – Isn’t that something you do to a turkey?

“Right sides together” – Sounds like a Tea Party rally to me!

Today I read some “Under stitching” directions that might as well have said:

Honestly.  
Somedays I think I am getting so good and others I feel a drunken costume designer.
  Sad clown face-n-all.
The designs in my head (cause of course, I can’t just be happy with the outcome the pattern has for me… I always have to “do more”) are going to be really cute.  Either that or the girls and I will be in potato sacks for their birthdays and Christmas…
Hey – it worked for my girl Marilyn!

16 thoughts on “Meet My Best Friend…”

  1. That cute red sewing utensil is simply your “frog stitcher”….rip it, rip it, rip it! 🙂 Love your plaid and can’t wait to see the finished products! 🙂

  2. Yeah, that plaid fabric is really nice 🙂 🙂 I had to laugh about Suzy Seamripper 🙂 🙂 I have a seamripper that I can never find when I actually want it. It’s one that I got in a sewing kit that I purchased in 7th grade Home Ec class 🙂 🙂 It still exists…somewhere in my room 🙂 🙂 Have a great day. Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂

  3. I used to do the same thing…then I learned 🙂

    The fabric is just luscious…take your time so you will not use your ‘friend’ as often!

    Blessings,

    Maria

  4. oh my. if only we all looked as good as marilyn in a potato sack…

    have you jumped on the pinterest train yet? there are always such fabulous ideas /tutorials on there ( I know, I know, like we have more hours in the day in which to twaddle away, I hear ya. ) but, if you need an invite, let me know.

    good luck on the dress! so far i’ve sewn crooked curtains:D

  5. The first problem you have is following a printed pattern. Those bite, pardon my french.

    I learned years ago, the only way to sew something is to find something I want and lay it out and use IT as a pattern. EASY.

  6. LOL! I feel the same way about my seam ripper! I have two dresses and 4 pairs of pajamas to finish in the next two weeks. I feel your pain! I love the fabric you have chosen, its beautiful! Oh and those easy patterns, I’m convinced they are worse than the difficult ones, the last one I used didn’t even have the pattern sizes to cut correctly and I had to re-do some of the dress.

  7. I wish I was your neighbor, or you were mine, I would run over and help you! I know what each of those terms mean! I also love the bias cut on that plaid.

    Call me if you need help with terms and I can try to explain over the phone, this is possible, you know, it’s how I learned much of what I know.
    xoxo
    Joni

  8. Curtains in my Tree-
    Thanks for the compliment on my little ones… no, not really any help but the kids are pretty darn good (except when they are hungry then watch out!) but I do try to run a tight ship so I have time in the evenings to sew thanks to nice and early bedtimes!

    Joni-
    Thankfully I do know what all those terms mean – but they are so WEIRD! And the crappy illustrations that go along with them. Geesh. But I still wish we were neighbors! That would be way too much fun. Quite frankly, I’d like to go out back and shoot with you!

    Tamra-
    I am with you. Printed patterns… suck. I haven’t used on in over a year and now I know why!

    Thanks for your comments girls! I love ’em!
    -Ang

  9. Love your post today…your so funny. I dont get that funny when I sew, I’m too busy yelling at the sewing machine as it breaks my thread every ten minutes…
    I love the color and the patter. Cant wait to see what you make.

  10. Angela,

    I love sewing but HATE patterns. They always freak me out! Growing up with a seamstress in the house, you’d think that I was born cutting out patterns. I have never sewn anything that was cut on the bias. To me, that would be totally nerve racking, especially if I were cutting out nice fabric-YIKES!
    Your plaid fabric looks beautiful, and I can SO see that fabric with a crisp white button up blouse-chic indeed. Happy sewing, and by the way, my seam ripper laughs at me all the time:)

    Mandy

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