My toes are cold.

That’s an understatement. Because it’s 57 degrees in here with a space heater cranked. It’s an insult to injury thing.

(I’ve been struggling with really bad allergies all year and we finally figured out its dust, dirt or something coming up from the basement where the furnace is. Last month it got so bad I was wheezing, some of the kids too. So – we’ve got the furnace off ’cause there is no way I’m paying to have the ducts cleaned again when we are leaving.)

Anywhoo. I’m cold. And it’s official, the boxes are five feet high.

“How high’s the water Mama, five feet high, and risin’….”

The clothes are packed, save for warm layers and a church outfit or two, what’s left in the pantry, the mice can feast on. We’ve switched to paper china and the Legos are on lockdown ’cause this Momma can only take so much chaos. We are hopefully just days from our big move and I need a latté but my machine broke in the midst of all this.

Longing for Home

I won’t lie. It’s getting old. I really am longing for pretty Christmas decor and a toilet seat that doesn’t give me an ice-induced heart attack.

To add to the doldrums we’ve been on a complete spending moratorium for over sixty days. (If you’ve ever used an unconventional loan before you understand this misery full well.) We try hard to be a family of fortitude but dang, we’re a little bored and missing creative expression through cooking, making things pretty and yes, Legos.

I about lost it the other day and so I had to carve out a moment for myself. I was desperate for pretty. I lit a candle, found one stray dish that hadn’t been packed yet and sat down for two minutes with a book and a hot cup of coffee. It was glorious. I crave my old routine and have so much hope for it to begin again…

Longing for Home

But in the midst of rolls and rolls of packing tape and bubble wrap, I have found such beauty and generosity through friends and family and I am sustained as I TRY to bend to God’s timing and WHATEVER He is doing in my heart as I practice patience and a thousand other traits I lack in most pitiful ways.

The monotony of these last six weeks has finally been broken up:

I crashed my Mom’s house last week for a sleepover. I met a few of her friends who had come over for some festivities and the riotous conversation felt so good. The next morning I had an impromptu visit with a friend of these last twenty years. I hadn’t seen her in ages, her home was cosy and we enjoyed a much overdue visit.

 doTERRA customers who chat and laugh with me on my cold porch when they bring boxes over, friends who Paypal you grocery money ’cause they understand what it’s like when your closing date comes before payday, meals spontaneously delivered… really… this whole process has been amazing. It’s an incredible thing to move a farm and family. We put our heads down and set to the task of dismantling this place weeks ago and we are still at it. To have observers validate how tough this really is, well, it’s heartwarming.

Longing for Home

It’s been heartwarming to watch my kids navigate their little souls through this process as well. They’re living with no heat, no daily routine, no toys. My poor little creatives. The other day I felt so bad for them, I hit the dollar store for gift bows and markers. They’ve decorated the moving boxes and anything else they could get their hands on.

I can’t wait to give them a proper environment again. But, in the meantime, there are sweet moments to carve out. Paper chains, decorated plastic cups, singing together…

True, home is where your heart is, but we are all longing for home; the place where we will finally put down the roots of this precious family… our place in the world to carve out a beautiful existence.

And on that note, an email just came in. The loan has gone to underwriting for approval.

My knees are weak.

Time to hit ’em.

Thank you for reading! Angela

 

17 Comments

  1. Dewena

    You probably have no idea how involved your readers are in this wonderful stressful crazy project you and your amazing family are going through now. I rarely comment, because after all I’m closer to your grandmother’s age than yours but I’ve prayed for the right farmhouse for you ever since you posted a picture of one that had a big red barn years ago as a sample of what you were looking for. I’ve watched your babies come and grow and mature and been so proud of them and their parents. So this is such an exciting time for me to see your dream almost here. God bless you all, and I can’t wait to follow along on the trip to your new home.

    Reply
  2. Mandy Friend

    Eeek!!! I have chills at that last part! SO soon girl. So soon!

    Reply
  3. Dottie Chaddock

    Oh please make everything wonderful for this sweet family…..

    Reply
  4. Kelly Feyock

    I am praying for you..I know the agony of longing for a home that will fit your family and become a place of hospitality. After 15 years of sowing the word and financially, God just upgraded us to a 4,000 sq ft custom built home. I had to learn to appreciate my previous home He gave us and manage my time, resources and relationships before He moved on our behalf. I know the waiting and hoping can be unbearable at times but I found that deliberately walking in love and sowing into others helped me during our wait time.

    P.S. the best thing about this new home is how God did some fancy footwork financing to get us into this home- God is simply amazing

    “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

    Reply
  5. Elizabeth Hendon

    So great to see you my dear friend!!!! Praying for this next adventure!!

    Reply
  6. Nita Hiltner

    My mom’s way of preparing for the move in 1967 from Indiana to California with us 3 girls was to demand I throw away most of my 26 skirts and all my Beatles stuff except the albums. I must have had 500 baseball cards that now go for $10 each. I threw away all their magazines and other Beatles stuff. Have always missed it. Praying for a smooth move for you all. I think of you every day and please involve us in the move. Can’t wait to see what you do with that place. My starting over days are gone, so I will just enjoy yours. Bless.

    Reply
  7. Donna

    Home is within sight! You got this!!!

    Reply
  8. Audra Mack

    Went through this earlier this year! I can’t wait for this to be done for you all-it’s still too fresh for me to not ‘feel it’ too! Haha!

    Reply
  9. Cheryl

    Thinking of you Angela and wishing I was closer to bring you some temporary momental joy….to help hold you over until the BIG MOVE!!!! 🙂 Your such a giving soul….I’m so glad – honored really, to be able to send you blessings and prayers. May God give you the patience, wisdom and creativity you need and move you along with speed to your new nest!!! xoxo

    Reply
  10. Linda a.

    It’s in the middle of the night here and I
    can’t sleep, so I’m praying for you, your loan and your family.
    I get, ” Be still and know I am God “.
    What a story you will have to tell, to encourage
    others and a platform to do it with!
    By the way, how do I order doTerra from you?
    Blessings to you

    Reply
  11. Nadia S. Reutov

    Angela I sympathize with you so much- I had to go through something similar this year. Hang in there! Enjoy those small precious moments with your babies. You mentioned that you’ve been sick and believe it’s something from your basement? Have you checked for mold? I didn’t know what was making me sick in our old house and through much trial discovered it was mold growing in our cellar. I had to leave everything behind and move out for my health. Just wanted to let you know!

    Reply
  12. Linda a.

    Please update your blog…..can’t wait!

    Reply
  13. Fiona Sanders

    I’m in the same situation. Unfortunately it’s lasted a little longer. We have been waiting and longing for home for 20 months. All our stuff has been in storage so long. We are missing our books and pretty things. I was feeling pretty bad about everything until I met a lady who has been waiting for home since 2014. I think it’s inborn in a woman to want to nest, and make a home.

    Reply
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    Reply
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    Reply
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