Great idea.
This time around my contractions seemed so strange. They seemed to be all over the place. Rapidly getting closer together but some were twenty seconds, some were a minute. They would peak in agony and then just stop… not even tapering off. Just stopping. I got pretty frustrated as the pain was intense but they just seemed so weird. I was feeling a bit of pressure too, like Joel, the Midwife and Nurse (Debbie and Jane) were just waiting for things to kick into high, high gear since my previous two births had been so fast. (Two and three hours.) Once I expressed this the nurse and midwife excused themselves to go downstairs so Joel and I could get down to business*.
And we did. Joel comforting but cracking jokes in between contractions to keep my spirits up…
“You know when I’m down to just my socks that it’s business time baby…”
Awhile later I heard myself begin that slight grunting sound at the end of my “relaxing exhales”. I knew that sound. I wanted to believe I was getting closer. Debbie and Jane heard it too and came back upstairs. Now the pain was here in all it’s fullness. And I was so tired from the terrible sleep the night before. I began to cry. With each contraction I just broke down and cried, so desperate for it to be over. Debbie assured me the baby would be here by lunch time but my mind was skeptical, wondering if she was just cheering me on. I wanted no cheerleading. I needed it to be over. Strange thoughts were going thru my mind. I wondered HOW IN THE WOLRD I had done this three times before. My first lasting 28 unbelievable hours. I vividly saw every woman over the millennia that had ever birthed without drugs (no offense to you pain relief girls!) but I saw the slaves in the fields, the Jewish women, whose bodies, in sheer stress went into labor in the box cars, crammed with people. It was crazy.
I felt for all of us.
Contractions must have been about every 30 seconds to a minute and this point and Joel and I were doing our thing… the way we do. Rocking. “Slow dancing.”
Poor guy, “Just breathe, just breathe.” was all he could seem to get out to encourage me. During a contraction I snarled, “WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT?!! What the frick do you think I am doing!!!” and then in the few seconds before the next contractions I began to laugh and so did Joel, then Debbie and Jane. “Wow. You’ve never yelled at me during labor before.”
I continued to cry. Crying that I just wanted to push. That I loved to push. At least that is something you can DO instead of just standing or sitting there being racked with pain.
A little more time passed and I decided to let her check me. I had still had that grunting urge… she didn’t want me to push too soon. Don’t they always say that? She checked, which was horrible and made me break down in sobs again but she said I was almost there. Within minutes she was telling me to listen to my body and do what it said to do. I could totally tell the babies head was ready to pass thru the cervix… there is no feeling like that. It’s funny, cause I swear Joel and I could deliver on our own (and have!) but there is something so encouraging about the verbal affirmation of my midwife telling me to go for it.
I began to talk to the baby. “Come on baby. Come on baby. Momma wants to hold you.”
He must have heard me.
Oh, and then to think that I had WANTED to push. I laughed out loud and verbally mimicked myself, “I just want to push!”
I grabbed Joel’s forearms to prepare for our little dance for the oncoming contraction and that’s when my legs said, “We’re done!” and began to buckle. I have never passed out before but I could stand up no more. I shouted that I was going to faint and Debbie and Jane jumped over to have Joel help me get on the bed. With the next contraction I pushed with all I had. I felt the head come, FLYING down and out… then a shoulder…
“Stop! Stop!” I heard.
What?
I had to stop my giant push half way.
“Cord!”
said the midwife and for what seemed like an eternity but was probably a second she unlooped the cord from around his neck. I had paused my push and finished it off without starting all over on another one and “poof”. It was over. I had been laying on my side and now was on my back with relief and thump suddenly there was a warm mass laying on my chest. I opened my eyes to see my beautiful baby. Totally COVERED in thick vernix, whimpering slightly.
It was over.
I was in love.
As I cried those first moments, hysterical, “It’s over”s and “Isn’t he beautiful”‘s Debbie and Jane seemed quiet and rubbed on him. They didn’t think he was quite pink enough. Deb just wanted him to cry a bit. Poor thing came flying out in one shot, I wouldn’t have the energy to cry either. She got her little oxygen tank out and waved the hose blowing oxygen in his face for a minute. That made him mad and they got the result they were looking for.
There is nothing like pushing out a baby. It’s horrible and AWESOME at the same time, and to have him in my arms. From in, to out. Well, no matter how they arrive, it’s just a miracle isn’t it?
A minute or two later Joel called downstairs for the kids to come up. That was awesome too. To present your children with another sibling to love. What a privilege.
Everything went so well.
Three hours total. Joel was home, not out driving his truck in Chicago. It went fast. The kids were good. The sun was shining.
Within five minutes of being born Julien James (who was not named until an hour or two later) was surrounded by the people that hold him dearest. Midwife Debbie said, “Let’s sing a song. Let’s sing the Doxology.”
My throat began to collapse with the urge to cry. How could Debbie have ever guessed that the Doxology is such an important song to our family? My dear, dear Grampa leads us in that vocal prayer before every meal down on the farm, this summer all two hundred guests sang it as the blessing before my sisters wedding dinner… our entire family harmonizes… three and four generations… it’s very special to us.
So there we were, me with a wet baby, husband at my side. Four beautiful blessings from the Lord. My dear Mom who is my best friend and two women, Debbie and Jane passionate about a woman’s moment in time – being delivered of a baby.
“Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly host.
Praise Father,
Son
and
Holy Ghost.
Amen.”
(*Not “business” but simply focusing on the contractions and relaxing during them! I had to add this post script because of my friend A-la-Parisienne’s hilarious comment aluding that we actually got down to “business”. TOO FUNNY but unterstandable considering the next original sentence where Joel sings “Business Time” to me by Flight of the Concords.)
This is a beautiful beautiful story. You are so blessed and I love that your children are a part of everything and that you share such an intimate part of your life. God bless you all! xo
Ahhhhh….hhhhh…hhaaaaa…..ahhhhhhh….men.
what a beautiful story, thank you for sharing!
What a beautiful story!
Loved your birth story!! It made me laugh and cry.
Congratulations on your new angel!
Sincerely,
Melinda
After reading that I hope you don’t think you are the only one crying!
Such a beautiful story and a beautiful “first” family portrait of the six of you together.
A lovely story. I’ve got tears in my eyes as I remember similar feelings.
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful experience with us. Makes me a little sad that my time was so long ago, but I totally enjoyed reading this!
Angela, I am so happy I know you. Every post makes me smile. But today, my friend, I’m weeping with joy for all of you. It took me 10 years to have a 2nd child. God Bless all of you!! Sending love from Texas….
Chills is all I can say. I can just imagine singing Doxology after the birth of a child, and, yes, that song is so rich in harmony. I would have sobbed with joy through ever word.
I must say a trip to Target and a little “business” on the day of a delivery is quite a story:)
OK, You Mandy (A-la-Parisienne) you are too funny. There was NO “business” the day of delivery. He was just singing that hilarious song to me to make me laugh!
What a touching and beautiful story. You are truly blessed. Your children are adorable.
Loved hearing the story of this baby’s birth, what a lovely memory for all of you! What a welcomed little fella…
xoxo
Joni
Awesome Family!! Awesome!!!
Angela,
Now that I’ve reread your post, I see where I became confused!!! Ha!
I will say that the first time I read it, I was thinking “Whoa, that’s TMI and Man, she was desperate to deliver that baby!” I should have known that you wouldn’t write such a thing.
Mandy
perfect in every way … his face, his hands, his double chin and his heart for his mama!
Isn’t is amazing that a mother never forgets one detail of birthing?
the doxology was the crowning glory … we will never forget. amen
I love you,
the mama
Congratulations! Beautiful family, beautiful house!
Loved reading your story beautiful mama….precious!
What a beautiful story. I am so glad that Joel was there and that it went so smoothly! He’s stunning, and I love the family portrait!
Just love the story and the family portrait! You are all a remarkable family! God Bless all of you!!
What a beautiful story…it made me cry and remember the miraculous birth of both of my children….
So glad everyone is wonderful!
Lou Cinda
Your birth story brings the memories of my four babies births flooding back. I remember the pain did seem to get worst for each one. Except my third baby, Grace, was born so fast the only pain I experienced was while trying to hold her back from being born while we rushed to the hospital. We should have just remained home. She was born a week early on Christmas day on the way to the hospital. The cord was wrapped around her neck twice and my husband had to unwrap it while delivering her. It was very scary because she did not cry. I had her on my belly skin to skin to keep her warm but decided to put my finger in her mouth to see if she was breathing and that is when she finally cried. After we arrived at the hospital the Doctor who delivered my afterbirth found the cord to be extremely long and tied in a knot. She said it was a miracle that she was alive.
Your Julien James is so beautiful and I am so happy for you.
A beautiful and exciting story! Thank you for sharing. I wish I could have had a similar experience, but I think without Michael being there with me that the way things went was best for all. I’m just so happy to have Michaela in my arms, as I know you are to have all four of your chickens with you.
🙂
Precious.
You’ll be glad you have written the birth story.
I never have and i regret i didn’t.
Another thing i wish i had kept a day to day journal about family life.
God bless,
d
Such a great story! So happy for you 🙂
Touching and beautiful story of the birth of your son and you have a very lovely famiy indeed! What a wonderful husband to have helping you along!
Okay, I’m here, sugar, and I think I’m in love with ya….Michael Savage??? Yep, Michelle Malkin also?? A girl, FARMgirl, after my own heart.
But I truly don’t need a THING to be won as I’m decluttering this house. Thanks anyway. I’ll be back.
xoxo,
Connie
You write so well and I like your photos and all the entire site.
Oh my goodness! Congratulations on your beautiful Blessing. I have been gone for so long and I’ve missed so much. So happy for your whole family 😉
Congratulations! I haven’t had a chance to read blogs in so long…I didn’t even remember you were pregnant!
Congrats also on the cover…beautiful 🙂
I’ve found your blog through homestead revival. What a beautiful site, family, and story! Particularly touching because my family too harmonizes to the doxology. 🙂 it’s my all time favorite. Thank-you for sharing!
I have never visited your blog before, but read this and just have to tell you that the Doxology is exactly what I sang following the births of my last several children – just seems somehow appropriate for that time – but I never expected to hear that from someone else! Congratulations on your new little boy.
Well, I’m only about 3 months late on congratulations, but, CONGRATUATIONS! (had to wipe away a tear or two while reading.) So happy for you and the family. God bless!
What a beautiful post on such a wonderful time of life…the birth of a child. 🙂 I just gave birth to my third three months ago and am blessed with another baby girl. (oldest is a boy and the next two are girlies) I too have my babies with a midwife and it is such a lovely and intense experience. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing. Lord bless you and your family and I love your blog. It’s great!
Even though this miracle happened a little over year ago… I just wanted to read something beautiful and happy TODAY and I am glad i came here and found your birthstory of welcoming baby Julien James.
Beautiful.
Thank you for sharing Angela!
Sandy