What the heck happended to Victoria’s Secret???

Let me preface this whole ranting and remind all WHY it’s called Victoria’s Secret. Queen Victoria, the inspiration of the Victorian Age. A time of showcasing the finer things of life in excess, surrounding yourself with suptuous fabrics, art, plants, furniture, clothing…and an age of propriety. Men pursuing, women responding, but all in accordance with a certain code. Modesty and propriety reigned as supreme as the Queen. Thus, your knickers would have been a secret. You weren’t hanging them on the wash line. I digress…and I will pick up where I left off before the history lesson…


Now, if you live in a smaller town your Victoria’s Secret may not have made the trasformation yet…lucky you.

Joel and I made our annual Christmas late night treck to the mall last night and the rumors I have heard are true. Mom, bless you but sometimes when enthusiastically speaking you are prone to exagerate…just a teeny weeny bit and I find it an endearing quality. This time you have been redeemed.

I love Victorias Secret! It makes me feel pretty, feminine…the catalogs and models inspire not intimidate. I LOVE watching the fashion show and I think Giselle is THE prettiest woman on the planet. NONETHELESS…

I was stopped in my tracks last night. I just stopped as I rouned the corner from Vie de France, came to a screeching halt and 100 flu infested shoppers piled into me as my jaw fell to the floor. I scooped it up and saw that Mom was right! What was once pale pink with Tiffany and Co. crystal chandeliers, crushed velvet pastel pink chairs, hat boxes, and tasteful, yet provocative black and white photography of Heidi and her friends now…well I’ll try to describe it…

BLACK. Black everywhere. I think they were trying to make it look like the catwalk. Didn’t work. It looks more like AMSTERDAM! I thought the manicans were going to come to life and take my pot brownie order! I think they were taking reservations for brazilians in the back too. Long story short – they ruined it. It’s dark and cold and I swear there was a red light flashing in my periphreal vision. Hey – creative team at V.S. It’s been done before and they called it FREDRICKS OF HOLLYWOOD!

“Give me sexy.”? “Give me everything I want and nothing I need.”? How about give me the old Victoria’s Secret back.

There’s a rumbling at Westminster Abbey and its a portly Queen Vic rolling over in her crypt.