“I Nicked the Census Man!”

May 15, 2010 | Uncategorized | 19 comments

K-
I have 6 days to make Great Gramma’s Cinnamon rolls, Reine de Saba French Amaretto Chocolate cakes, hundreds of Macarons and more!  
What DON’T I have time for?
“Don, The Census Man”.
This afternoon, after a VERY STRESSFUL morning of three munchkins who were over, over tired after setting up at Nada Farm all day yesterday… well, I got them down for their naps… and silence.  Sheer, glorious SILENCE!  
I rolled out G.G.’s rolls…
KNOCK!  KNOCK!  KNOCK at the kitchen door!
I look up – hands covered in dough and braless and low and behold, there stood the Census Man. 
 Great.  
Just Great.
“Can I help you?”
He starts to unfurl all the papers on his clipboard and though I was irritated I tried to hide my giggle as all I could think of was one of my favorite lines from one of my all time favorite movies, “Oh Brother Where art Thou”
“I nicked the Census Man.”
“Now there’s a good boy.”

(Dang, that kills me.  You can see that at about 9:30 on the above YouTube clip.  Sorry, You Tube would not let me post it.
That entire thing makes me cry with laughter.  People either get it and think it’s the most genius, most funny movie ever or they look at you like you are a raving lunatic when you tell them how hilarious it is.)
Well, “Don” didn’t think it was that funny when I told him, “Now is not a good time.”
I mean.  Come on.  Lucy and Ethel are hanging there in all their glory (or should I say remembering their former glory!), no one was asking my to help them to the toilet or break apart a tight fitting Lego.  
NOW WAS NOT A GOOD TIME. 
 So he asked when he could come back and I nicely and sincerely said, “In two weeks.”  Serious.  
My life is so jam packed for the next couple weeks I am not sharing a moment with “DON.”  So he tells me, “That is not a timely fashion.  This information needs to reach the president’s desk in a timely fashion.”  My tongue bled as I bit it to keep from saying that I did not give a rat’s a- –  about the President’s desk.  And I had to stop myself from congratulating him on making it look like the unemployment numbers were up for and April & and May.  What happens when the 17,000 other Census Employees like “Don” are done harassing housewife’s who have better things to do then fill out the census “in a timely fashion”??? – Good heavens, in getting ready for this sale, I have days where I can’t even BRUSH MY TEETH in a timely fashion’!
So, deductive reasoning -n- all, I ask him, “Wait a minute, if I filled out and mailed mine two weeks ago, how is yours, that you are filling out right now, gonna beat mine… to the Presidents desk?”
He didn’t like that very much.  Especially after I asked him that question three times. So, finally he says, “So you’re refusing?”
“Yes, I am refusing.  I mailed it in.”  And, I turned on my heal and went back to my cinnamon rolls.  
Good times.
And speaking of these oozy, gooey, delicious babies, you’re gonna have to have one Saturday morning while you shop!  We even have a lighted, cozy, graveled courtyard for you to sip your coffee and enjoy your pastry!
BTW  – being the wanna-be rebel that I am.  The only questions I answered on the Census were “How many people live in your house”
 -5
And what race we were 
AMERICAN!

19 Comments

  1. Cottage Remnant

    LOL
    I love that movie toooooo, I think it’s “Bonafide”….. funny.

    Reply
  2. Shelia

    Oh, you’re such a hoot! I loved this post! Yep, I get it too – I love that movie! Old Don need a Diet Dr. Pepper, me thinks! 🙂
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia 😉

    Reply
  3. Lorilee

    Love it! I put “American” for race too!

    Reply
  4. Farmgirl Cyn

    Not sure I put the race thing down! But I only answerd how many of us lived here. None of their business how many pottys we have in the house!

    Reply
  5. Joannah

    One of my all time favorite movies, too.

    I like the way you handled Don. You’re my hero!

    Reply
  6. Old Centennial Farmhouse

    Oh….what FUN. What fun! (Clapping my hands in glee!) Timely manner! President’s desk! HA! I would have said “Now, what I’d like to see in a TIMELY MANNER is a REAL HOSPITAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE!” and…maybe this line: “Why has our President been issued a social security number for the state of CT, when he’s never LIVED in said state? See if you can get me an answer to THAT in a timely manner!”

    You are funny, even when you’re busy up to your eyeballs in flour,and braless; girl, you crack me right up.

    I put AMERICAN for race too. Stinkin’ buzzards! Circlin’ your house, you probably got a ‘mark’ by your name for being a difficult American! Heh heh…
    *Ü*
    Joni

    Reply
  7. Mel

    hahahahahaha

    I hid under the kitchen table twice as she was peering…in the windows….oops. Cencus SChmencus.

    Reply
  8. Stephanie

    I pity the census worker that shows up at your door. He didn’t know what he was walking into. So funny!

    Reply
  9. cityfarmer

    mine has not been mailed… it’s sitting on my desk with a note to ask dad what he would do?

    I rrrrrrrun and hide from the clipboard nation … they ring the bell … I continue on my merry way …

    Dad would say ” don’t give em’ any info” … so I’m obeying Dad …

    it’s been ten years since I didn’t mail in the last one … so I ask you …?

    note to self …we JUST filed taxes … tell me they don’t know how many people live here …
    I’m just sayn ..

    Reply
  10. tina

    LM*O!!!!
    Oh my sides’ a’splittin’, I SO needed that right now 🙂
    You rock!
    Makes me sorry we sent ours in…course, there is a chance mine hasn’t reached the desk of the Pres….hmm…maybe if I go braless and make your G.G. cinnamon rolls (where’s the recipe????) then I, too, could get a visit from a census taker?….oh, what fun could be had…(wringing my hands in anticipation of it all!!)

    And yes, me too, I love “O Bro” and not just because Mr. Clooney is so darn cute 😉

    Reply
  11. SK

    A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    Reply
  12. SK

    (^that was my husband–I read your post to him because he tussled with the census KID over here, lol!)

    Reply
  13. Rebecca of Sunny Morning Farm

    Like a good little American girl I sent mine in immediately this year because I did not want the very nosy census worker snooping around out here again. She was asking where our property bounderies were and all sorts of very nosy questions the last time.

    However it is burning a hole in my mind as to why the IRS doesn’t let the president know who lives here, how much we make and how much we paid in to the government this year. He could also call the state of Va and find out how much we paid them and where our property lines are and how many potty’s we have!! Why do we expect any thing better from our government???

    Great post Chickie!!

    Reply
  14. Castles Crowns and Cottages

    Chère Parisienne,

    Merci pour être venue! Vos commentaires me touchent bien et venez me voir encore! Vous êtes bien chargée de responsabilitiés avec votre patisserie, mais merci mille fois pour votre gentillesse et vos mots!

    Bisous, Anita

    Reply
  15. sharon

    Just discovered your delicious blog via Anna Marie. Love this post, and the others , great photos and great text.
    I so wish I could pop in the car and come join in the fun. I’m thinking of you all alot ad I’ve never even me you!
    Hope A-M’s computer gets fixed this week

    Sharon

    Reply
  16. Homemaker Ang

    The Gentle Giant made our census girl show him her badge! HA! And then was very vague about answering questions…

    and… I always wondered why if they know enough to send us the mail to fill out and they know who we are do then need to double check???

    Reply
  17. Victoria

    You are too funny. =)
    I wouldn’t have been able to bite my tongue.. thanks for showing a more charitable example!

    p.s. SO excited for the sale! Call me this week if you need to.

    Reply
  18. Victoria

    Oh, and we didn’t send ours in either. It’s university (aka government-subsidized) housing – they probably know how many bathroom visits we make.
    Of course, maybe if I mentioned how terrible the streets are around here, the massive potholes might get fixed? Hmm.. doubt it.

    Reply
  19. Buttonchief7

    Never watched the movie until you said your line. Truly is funny! It was one of my Dad’s favs. He passed away this past Oct. and always liked to say “Oh brother where art thou!” Have to get it from the library. He loved the music also. Thanks for giving us a laugh in our depressing times. Peggy

    Reply

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