Disclaimer (don’t you love it when my post start like that?)
This is not my normal fari… but it is normal “me” – just ask my Mom and sisters.
Pretend you and I are true friends and we are snuggled up on my couch with our kids long tucked in… yucking in up.
We’ve all done it-
*Stared at our toes an hour before our pedicure wondering, “Should I trim those things, or at the very least… dig out the lint???”
*The morning of our hair cut, wondered if we should actually bother to wash the workout sweat out before our stylist runs their fingers thru it and says, “So what are we going to do today?”
*Shuddered to think of hiring a housekeeper because then we would actually have to clean up before she came over once a week. I mean, how could you ask another woman to clean up your hubby’s curly ques from under the toilet seat???
And the worst of them all —-
The morning of the Pap, wondering… how much is too much in the… ugh… “personal grooming”…ahem, department.
Yeah, pick yourself up off the floor, that’s what we are talking about today.
It is truly the worst.
You can’t bust out the clippers the morning of — I mean, you can’t really go in there looking like, “I did this for you.” but you can’t go in there looking like Sasquatch either, can you?
Where is the line? Especially in the Midwest where we get to cover up 6 months of the year, it’s easy to leave the hair removal wax on the shelf and the scissors in the drawer if you know what I mean. It’s easy to catch a glimpse in the mirror one day and think, “Good gravy! What is that???” and realize that things will have to change before you accept that invite to your friends pool.
I remember before I ever got pregnant, a friend of mine telling me that when you are “great with child” you can’t see “your unit” (as she called it) any more.
I was horrified!
But not long after did I learn she was right and as my belly got bigger, one day I called Joel in for a lesson in wax strips – “Look, I said, I am going to have your baby and you are going to learn to wax my bikini – there is no way I am going to be naked in front of the doctor, nurse and my Mom looking like some sort of sex-ed chapter out of a 1972 school text book.”
He’s a good man.
And I have since figured out how to maneuver to do it myself and I am proud to say I going into labor looking… well kept.
I know you know which text book I am talking about –
I can still see those black and white pictures of someone who looked like they were from the set of “Love Story” giving birth. It was frightening —- like girlfriend! It’s called a hedge trimmer!
“Love means never having to say your sorry going au natural?”
I think not.
So, what‘s a girl to do? As if the whole process wasn’t bad enough – I mean, anytime you‘re not wearing a cowboy hat but the word “stirrups” are involved…
It’s bad enough trying to decide to leave your socks on or not – but I know I am not the only girl who has woke up the morning of the annual exam and realized her dilemma.
Tell me I am not the only one!