I hesitated even posting this right on the heels of this mornings post about my little angel…
Today I traversed the stairs for the first time since the birth. No problem after the week of hanging out that I have been blessed with. I got the chickens to bed, Momma left, I jumped on the Internet (Joel is working tonight) and realized with a panic that the State of the Union was on and I was stuck up here with no chocolate…no wine…oh my gosh…I didn’t think I could stomach an hour of blather without either. So, I broke the Midwifes rules (stairs just once a day during the second week of recovery) and crept down for 72% cacao and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck Merlot…hey, if you think I am going to waste the good stuff on Obama you’re crazy…
Let’s pretend someone cares what I think…here is my play by play of tonight’s speech …Twitter style…
Why does Michelle always look like such a B- with that clenched jaw? And why does he always have to cock his head upward like that – he looks like such a snob.
The worst of the storm has passed? Is he kidding? How can he say that with inflation and a worse economy for our children on the horizon?
Oh good grief – the children. I should have my little Aidan send him a letter. Every time he gets a quarter as a treat he asks if Obama is going to take some of it!
If I hear the Wall Street/Main Street comment one more time I think I might PUKE!
Why is he talking so proper? Why doesn’t he throw down with that Chicago style accent he puts on when he visits back home??
Strained but hopeful? Oh boy, I could start a drinking game with the word hope? I might be sloshed by the time Joel gets home!
Our Union is strong? Is he joking? THE PEOPLE are strong but if you ask me, the Union is a mess! No one respects us, Korea, Venezuela, Russia, Iran…
“We all hated the bank bailout”? What is that, like giving a child a spanking and saying this hurts you more than it hurts me??
Oh, listen, the “root canal” thing,- he thru in that Chicago style slur!
Wait, you recovered most of the money you FORCED on the banks!!!!
Good lord, if I have to hear about the big bonuses one more time I might VOMIT!!!! Just lower my FRICKEN TAXES already – I don’t care HOW MUCH people on Wall Street make!!!!
Oh sit down Nancy!
You cut taxes hugh? Oh boy, I don’t know if I can stomach this.
“Slowly Slum?”
How about you just stop taxing the crap out of us? A new jobs bill? How about you just LEAVE US ALONE? I love how they talk about small businesses…we are a very small business and it’s not the lending that gets us, it’s the damn taxes.
You want me to stimulate the economy, how about letting me keep my money? Hubby brings home $1000 from a big painting job and what do I do? I set aside $250 to give the IRS? I could pay for a car with that money or go to Disneyworld for pete’s sake.
Clean energy and climate bill?
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE ON CLIMATE CHANGE???? Is this a joke?
Oh my gosh, he’s on drugs. That stupid climate change bill is going to destroy middle class finances…
Isn’t the best anit-poverty tool around a healthy family with a mom and a dad? Seems like I have heard that before…
All I am hearing about is spending…this bill, that bill, this bill, that bill.
I’ve got an idea. A tax credit for “stay at home Mom’s.” You know, those of us pouring our hearts and souls into the future of America, those of us sacrificing a second income, and there are some of us who could bring in a VERY significant second income.
How about a tax credit for people who get and stay married?
How about a BIGGER tax credit for those of us reproducing at a rate that this country needs to sustain itself in the future?
How about a tax credit for people who stay healthy? (I suppose that would be “unfair”)
Hey ya’ll, Michelle told you to sit down and she meant it!
I wish San Fran Gran Nan would wipe that look off fer face – oh, I forgot…she can’t.
Oh! The laughter! Wow, he didn’t even flinch. No Drama Obama.
Sorry – I missed alot – had to nurse the babes.
Wait on the subject of defense we have strengthened partnerships from where to where? Last time I checked it didn’t seem like anyone respected us anymore.
“Responsibly leaving Iraq to it’s people.” Precious. Just precious.
“Make no mistake this war is ending and all of our troops are coming home”. …YIKES, did you see the pan to that General or whatever he was? He did NOT look impressed.
Would someone please remind me how a “Community Organizer” became the president of this country? This is excruciating.
Supporting military families…that is a no brainer. Think of all the money this government pisses away that could go towards taking care of our bravest.
What is that Canary Yellow thing going on down there? Goodness, there should be a dress code. I am blinded!!!!
Iran will face growing consequences? That is a promise? Really? Cause I am not feeling that. I don’t think Imalittlenutjob is either.
Oh gosh, I have to stop. It’s too much. I can’t look at Nancy any more. I can’t listen to this.
I can’t listen to anything about human dignity from someone who believes in killing the innocent…the unborn.
“If you abide by the law, you should be protected by it.” Hey, he said it, not me. I can’t remember the last time a baby in the belly broke any laws.
Don’t ask don’t tell…zoom in on the generals for a response.
Oh, and throw in securing the borders for good measure. What a joke, someone is dusting off the welcome mat right now.
Oh, sorry, I said I was gonna stop.
The sad thing is the Republican response will probably be a TOTAL embarrassment, what do ya bet?
Hope you found this more entertaining than our “great leader.” Sorry about the attitude I’ve been silent for a couple months now – guess it just had to come out! I’ll go back to cooing over my baby now…
Oh, girl. You are the best! Love this!! 🙂
gag, vomit, yuk, spit(ter)
Ah! I loved this! Thank you! So well said – and I know it was off the top of your head because the speech just finished. I haven’t read the rest of your blog (I was referred here by Mrs. B’s blog) but I hope it is all like this…you are too funny – and right! And then that partisanship disguised as bipartisanship…something about blocking a bill just because you can – it goes both ways! Don’t pass a crappy bill just because you can either!
Thanks again!
GREAT POST! Yes I had my red wine in hand…
You’ve got more of what it takes than do I. No president brings out the absolute worst in me than does BO. Perhaps his wife is one, that’s why she looks like one…? As to him, he looks the way he looks because he thinks he’s above everyone and answers to no one and thanks to ejiits like Pelosi, et. al., he’s accomplished just that.
BO is one of the few who doesn’t realize just how hated he is…by the American People, most of us anyway.
You Go Girl!!
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LOL!!!!!!!! I had to call my husband at work & give him your blog address to read todays post!!!! And when you said “Sit down Nancy!” I thought for sure I was gonna break a hip when I fell out of my chair laughing!!!! My husband calls her the “Jack-n-the box” and we like to do the little music that goes along with it so when she jumps up….”POP GOES THE WEASEL”! Can you hear it!!!
Danny was already asleep when the dung came on & I could not allow myself to watch in fear that I may get called in to work (I was on call last night which means I CAN NOT TAKE a PHENERGAN for the extreme nausea & vomiting that I would induce by watching said DUNG!). GREAT POST MY GIRL!!!!!!!
I had to refer to this post on my blog this morning…hope you dont mind…still laughing!!
I listened to many post speech comments, and I liked yours best. You must have missed the thing with the Supreme Court Judges. That was a scream! Thanks,
Debbie
Oh bless you for this. I agree. 110% with everything. This is great. Superb even.
I don’t dare post about political things. I would probably be ousted off of blogger!!
Have a grand Thursday!
Jen
OMG! While reading this post I didn’t know whether to laugh, bite my lip or CHEER! You do better than I, though – I couldn’t stand to watch the man no matter how drunk I got! I just want to scream LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!!!
Now tell us how you reall feel!
Loved it! I second everything. I kept telling Biden to stop nodding his head, and did you see how Pelosi scooted over closer behind Obama in her chair so she could have her whole face on camera?
I loved the outbursts of laughter. I have to say, the man can give a speech. He’s smooth as silk. I did NOT like Michelle’s dress – too poofy.
I would LOVE to see our govt succeed at something. I’ve no love for Democrats or Obama – if the govt can do something positive, then it’s good for all the rest of us. I’m not real hopeful tho…
Thanks, so much for putting into words what so many of us are thinking. The monkey spoke and you saw right through it. I am still fabergasted people care what he thinks. Maybe something’s in it for them…. Keep telling us what you think, it is funny but true.
Call FOX and get a part time job as a commentator.They can film from your house and you can still be a wonderful stay at home Mom.
FYI: I left a little something for you over at my place. No hurries or worries. You’re busy 🙂
~Jen
We chose not to watch it last night. Thanks for the summary. You spared me the aggravation.
I couldn’t even watch it. I’m glad I got to read your recap instead. It’s funnier hearing your comments as you observe it in progress. I wish they could have a pop up window of you on the tv so you could give a live running commentary!
Xoxoxoxoxox! Love it. Love. It.
I didn’t watch (couldn’t stomach it) but it was lovely to get your oh-so-eloquent recap. 🙂
Well I told my mom cuz we were watching it together that Nancy’s pantyhose had to have been pretty stretched out after all the ups and downs:)
LeAnn
We watched bits & pieces of it with our children, as they looked wonderingly at our grimaces.
You summed up many of our thoughts right here. (deep bow to you!)
How funny! I loved this and had a good laugh!
without sounding self righteous, I think we should all spend time praying for the President and his wife…
You should be a comedy writer, or satirist…..so much good stuff here! I know I can PRAY for the President, every Commander in Chief needs it but it sure would be nice to know that he might bow his knee in humility to our heavenly Father, too.
I have to say this: I sure am glad our forefathers knew when to pray and when to fight. We’re paryin’ and fightin’ in this household. And I’m so glad that so many other patriots are fightin’ too. I hope he pays attention sometime SOON. TEA PARTY ANYONE?
XOXO
Joni
I always like what ya post, the decorating, about the babies, etc, but THIS has got to be your BEST, HANDS DOWN! LOVED, LOVED, LOVED IT. You said it, Mama!
I agree, a tax credit for stay at home moms is loooong overdue!