Dare to NOT Compare.

Jul 31, 2012 | Beauty and Style, Health and Beauty | 18 comments

I recently had a birthday.
It was lame.  (Understatement).
Which was a bit of a disappointment, because I love birthdays and
months ago I decided to turn up the
 burn as far as self maintenance goes…
I’ve been really calculating and working on my wardrobe, working out 6 days a week, really working hard on my skin, trying new up-do’s with the mop…
I just wanted to feel great on my birthday 
and this year for that matter.

Getting older is a bit alarming when you stop to think about it.

But alarming.

Thankfully getting older teaches us many things.
One thing I am grateful to have, in many ways, learned
is to not compare myself to others.

Girls – comparing is crap.

Don’t do it.
It’s a waste of time.
It’s a lie.
It will kill your “joie de vivre”.

That fact is – you’ve got it better than most people on the planet.
And in most cases, what you don’t like about yourself can be 
improved upon with some (or maybe a lot) of effort.

I am a self-motivated girl.
I LOVE to find ways to improve myself (and my surroundings).  
That’s great.  I would encourage anyone to “better” themselves if they want to – but not so they can be like someone else.
I personally love to use “stars” for inspiration.  I mean, they have access to styles and beauty regimes I will never be able to afford – but they (or should I say, certain ones) do inspire me…. long gone are the days in my early twenties when I would brutally compare myself to unattainable and unrealistic beauty.

I think that sometimes we need a reality check and I stumbled upon these photos the other day – (you will see the source stamped on the photo).  I don’t post these to dog the stars.  It’s not so you can think, “OMG, look how bad so and so looks” – it’s just for a reminder that so-and-so has dark circles, crows feet and uneven skin too:)

The fact is – the images that you may be bombarded with every day
 (depending on your media exposure) are all fake.
Most of us look rather dreadful with out SOME makeup on,
when we try too hard we look tacky,
when we abuse our bodies, we look like hell – and sadly, some of us die too soon, no matter how fabulous our music is.

Why not wake up tomorrow – birthday or not, and make one or two small changes what will cause you to stand up a little straighter and face your age with pride and grace?
And for heavens sake – 
when you see that magazine cover in the checkout lane that makes you sigh at your own flaws…



  1. A Cozy Cottage in the City

    My birthday is coming up soon too. And I was feeling the same way…but this year is going to be different! I’m going to feel better & healthier from the inside out…not the other way around. 🙂 Hope you had a wonderful bday!


  2. Bettyann

    Thank you so much for reminding us of the beauty we see in magazine is fake.Our beauty is in the laugh and smile lines..


    I like the simplicity of just two changes … for me 1. drink water,
    and 2. take my nutritional supplements on a regular basis.

    Happy Birthday.

  4. Kate

    AMEN! I think we all need to attempt for our best…but our best is such a personal thing. We need to stop comparing and instead be proactive towards our own (realistic) happiness.

  5. Corrina

    Happy birthday Ang xxCorrina

  6. Mandy

    i am so bummed your birthday stunk! mine did too last year. i always ALWAYS have high expectations of being lavished upon only to be knocked off my high horse dreams… happy late birthday friend<3 sending wishes you get to spend the next one on your dream farm…

  7. Pam

    Happy Birthday! And, great post! It’s so true. I hate that we are taught to fear aging like the older we begin to look the less we are worth. We fight the inevitable so hard. We should take care of ourselves. But, even if we do everything perfectly we’re not going to look 25 forever. At least not without surgery. And that will only take you so far. God knows I don’t want to end up looking like Joan Rivers or Kenny Rogers! LOL

    I’m going to be 38 in a couple of weeks and have felt like I’ve just look tired for the past year. I really irks me. But, I’m trying not to stress about it. Thanks for sharing the photo-shopped pics. It really puts things in perspective. I need to start of myself more like a fine wine – I just keep getting better with age! 🙂

  8. Susan Hawthorne

    You make me smile! Wait until you turn 60! Your words of wisdom make me think about actually walking today!

  9. April

    Yep! I think “photoshop” right after I think, “oh GOSH! Hide that from my SON!!!!”
    Happy birthday–sorry it was what you would call lame. Mine was too this year.
    I have decided that as a Mom I need to make my own fun on special days–apparently the people I do so many parties for just don’t “get it.” And I DO love parties!
    Thanks for sharing down-to-earth encouragement. I think we females would all be nicer to each other if we stopped the comparison game, too.

  10. melyssa

    Amen, sister! It’s just so dang hard to stop though…it’s like I’m a middle schooler trapped in a 35 year old’s body. Big sigh!

  11. Valerie

    Great post! I’ve been doing a major makeover on myself…for me! That’s the beauty of your 40s…you really do “get it” that the comparison thing is not helpful or useful to anyone! As I was nearing 40 I was dreading turning the big 4-0, but now that I’m a couple of years in, I’m loving life more than ever before. So much more confident with myself and where I’m at in life!

  12. Noël

    Wonderful! Wonderful! I needed this today. I just had my 3rd baby two weeks ago, and even though I got back to my normal size with my first two, I’m ready to fit into my clothes and tired of wearing my maternity clothes still. Life isn’t about comparing ourselves and I am thankful that women like you are writing about it. Lord bless!

  13. Stephanie

    Happy belated birthday! So many great comments here. It is a very personal quest to better yourself and I’ve had to learn to listen to me instead of everyone else. Finally, when I did that, I started making progress. I can’t even explain why that worked, but it was a revelation.

    And you are so right, it is ALARMING as to how fast the aging process goes once you near 40 and beyond. On the other hand, I love the confidence I’ve gained. To me, it’s priceless.

    Oh and don’t feel bad, my birthdays always pretty much suck. But I’ve decided my 44th which will be in 2013 will be spent in Paris. Woot!

  14. Lady Courtney

    Happy Belated birthday!!! Great post, we should all love the person we are inside and outside, it’s us! Do the best we can, exercise, eat right, sleep, but most of all be happy!!! And I think you are beautiful, just the way you are! I’m sure your husband will agree with me! 🙂 donna

  15. must love junk

    Oh, wow-I really needed this post! What a great reminder to NOT compare ourselves to others, but instead be the best we can be, and just enjoy life!!
    I’m your newest follower 🙂

  16. Justine of SewCountryChick

    Great post! Don’t I wish I had a pro photographer and makeup artist when I post pictures of myself on my blog! Living in LA I worked out at the same gym as many semi celebrities and they look like hell too sometimes!

  17. Farmgirl Cyn

    I feel your pain, Ang. Mine is coming up next week and I am not so much looking forward to it.
    And, by the way, isn’t your anniversary on my birthday??? How well I remember that day….hotter than hell! But you were a beautiful bride, in spite of the heat!


  18. Josephine's Girl

    Love, love this. It’s so easy to be so hard on yourself! The reminder to take care of yourself and be thankful for who you are is so great.


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