It’s finally here. We’re in the throws of Spring and yet it’s been a strange season of life for me… at least deep inside my heart it has. I know I’ve done a lot of prattling on about moving lately. I’ve been kind of obsessed. And that obsession has had some ramifications. Mostly it’s affected how I express myself in my surroundings. (Which, dugh, is huge for me.) Knowing that we will be moving later this year caused me to really rethink my garden and any effort towards creativity in general, I’ve had zero inspiration. Just like years ago when I felt myself detaching from my beautiful garden to prepare my heart for leaving it. I felt that happening again. Indoors, I find I’m not moving furniture, rearranging… around and horror of horrors, I’m not making my bed every morning and prettying up my room like I’ve done my whole life. Last time that numbing detachment was the right thing for me to do in order to guard my heart from the sadness of leaving that house. There was a lot of pain leaving that home and garden (as excited as we were to move change our life by moving to this little farm). This time though, detachment isn’t the right decision.
Look – I feel like I’m standing at the edge of something amazing.
I’m SO blessed to have so many irons in the fire. So many possibilities out there. I don’t know what this next chapter of our life will look like and I’m soooooo excited about it BUT I’ve been looking out into the unknown, wracked with curiosity and downright frustration. …I’ve been looking out when I should have been looking down, down at where I am now…
…and living in the present.
So friends, I want to share with you that I’m taking a deep breath. I’m tired of trying to figure it all out. Door Country? Paris? The moon? For the love. I have now idea how it’s all going to play out. I have no idea what creative projects on the horizon might shape our plans. I have no idea how our doTERRA biz will grow this year. I have no idea what God has planned for us and strangely enough – I’m sick of thinking about it. All this dreaming and scheming and timeline-ing has made me miss my actual life that I’m living. Right now.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve found myself again. True, I agree, that sounds so stupid but I feel as though I had lost my way a bit. All that looking forward and not enough looking down to see where my feet are actually planted. So, with a gorgeous, renewed fervor I’ve been creating up a STORM in my kitchen, I’ve planned my garden, experimented with new bread recipes, I’m carving out more precious moments with my gorgeous children and making intentional memories here on THIS farm with my wonderful husband… I’ve harvested honey and ordered more bees and I’ve found a renewed pride in this little farmhouse when before all I felt was frustration that it’s a rental and so I can’t reeeeeeeeeeally design the way I want to.
But this is my life. Now. And God forbid I miss it by craving more. Shame on my for my lack of gratitude.
Yes. I have a crapload of potential that I can’t tap fully until we move. But I’m done pouting.
To celebrate, I spruced up the living room a bit for spring. Clean and bright. ‘Got it all pretty so I can go play in the mud for the rest of the season.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord…
If you enjoy my “Parisienne Farmhouse style” you’ll enjoy these other posts. Click the photo for the tour.